Author Topic: Trying to become a supervillain  (Read 5145 times)

Offline Baad Speeler

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Trying to become a supervillain
« on: December 08, 2014, 07:24:19 PM »
So, I'm thinking about trying my hand at super villainy, but I keep coming up with the same problem.

Theme to use, finding a nemesis, what city to terrorize, and finding a secret lair. These things are all easy.

The thing that I cannot for the life of me figure out, is how in the hell to get henchmen. Do I post it to Craigslist? Do I put an add in the paper? If I do put an add in the paper, do I put it under "General" or "Trade?" How about a career day at the local high school? I don't think I can even come close to calling myself a self respecting mastermind until I have henchmen.

Any ideas you folks have would be appreciated. As payment for your efforts, when the world is mine, you guys can divide up something I don't want. Like France
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Offline Solo

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2014, 07:44:15 PM »
Henchmen? Simple.

Start a bank, or investment firm. Hire lawyers and accountants. Play your cards right, and you can bring down the economy of the most powerful country on earth, escape all prosecution, and even get paid by the government you just screwed over.
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2014, 07:52:29 PM »
Get involved in organized crime and figure out how they do their hiring.  Even criminals have an interview process.

Offline Solo

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2014, 08:17:22 PM »
Get involved in organized crime and figure out how they do their hiring.  Even criminals have an interview process.

Look, I'm pretty sure I just suggested that.
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2014, 09:51:16 PM »
I meant more traditional organized crime.  You know, beating the shit out of people and taking their money as opposed to assuring them it's safe because the government has given your institution a pass.

Offline Solo

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2014, 10:21:11 PM »
I meant more traditional organized crime.  You know, beating the shit out of people and taking their money as opposed to assuring them it's safe because the government has given your institution a pass.
...you want him to join law enforcement?
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Offline bhu

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2014, 01:47:42 AM »
No one knows how to get around breaking laws better than the people enforcing them.  Cept maybe the people who write them.

Offline Baad Speeler

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2014, 09:14:01 AM »
So... Go into politics?
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Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2014, 11:40:17 AM »
I meant more traditional organized crime.  You know, beating the shit out of people and taking their money as opposed to assuring them it's safe because the government has given your institution a pass.
...you want him to join law enforcement?
:lmao Can I nominate this as the best thread evar?
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Offline Baad Speeler

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2014, 11:44:47 AM »
Going into Law Enforcement/Politics would make me better at being a super villain, however, that doesn't get me random, faceless, nameless thugs that will gladly have the snot kicked out of them by heroes whenever I ask
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Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2014, 11:57:46 AM »
Going into Law Enforcement/Politics would make me better at being a super villain, however, that doesn't get me random, faceless, nameless thugs that will gladly have the snot kicked out of them by heroes whenever I ask
those are called Secret Service Agents. I think you want to be the president.
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline Baad Speeler

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2014, 12:20:00 PM »
Good call, and all I have to do is say that every member of congress may, possibly, have something to do with terrorism. Maybe. Then I can have them all arrested under the patriot act. Then I have access to underlings, and nukes. And I won't even have to pay for the help wanted add in the local paper. Good thinking Phaedrus! I just might rule the world yet!
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Offline Frogman55

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2014, 03:53:32 PM »
Another possibility is to create a large company staffed mainly by Americans in a third-world country (at least a country perceived as third world by Americans). Your American security staff will believe themselves naturally superior to any local authorities, and will cheerfully break any moral code with just a bit of encouragement.

Offline Baad Speeler

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2014, 05:30:26 PM »
But then I run the risk of being labeled some run of the mill third rate warlord. That's not cool
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Offline bhu

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2014, 05:32:22 PM »
everyone has to start somewhere

Offline Frogman55

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2014, 05:33:59 PM »
No, you're not a warlord. Your an international corporation bringing order and progress to benighted portions of the globe. Sure, sometimes that order requires high caliber weaponry, but that's just because you have to deal with those warlords. PR is the key here. A few big donations to doctors without borders, build some wells, some roads (you know, all the infrastructure you need to maintain your base), and you're good to go. Don't forget:

Offline Baad Speeler

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2014, 07:01:05 PM »
That is one of the greatest things I have ever read. When I get my little slice of third world shit hole, you will be my Vice President of Propaganda, I mean Public Relations. My own Joseph Goebbels. Just with out all the antisemitism or clown fuck lunacy.
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Offline bhu

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2014, 03:53:27 AM »
Goebbels fucked clowns  :twitch

But then, he was a heroin addict...

Offline wotmaniac

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Re: Trying to become a supervillain
« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2014, 04:18:05 AM »
Goebbels fucked clowns  :twitch

But then, he was a heroin addict...
Wait .... doesn't everybody? :huh