Campaign Thread VIII: In Which we learn MMIII has shitty balance issues...

[RobbyPants]

Mustave snickers and goes inside.

[bhu]

The rest of you going inside or staying to see how Pat's monologue goes?

[Risada]

"How do you feel about Undead Rights?"

"Whatever suits them."

"Did you know your Attorney regularly defends Fiends and monsters?"

"And what does that have to do with you? One has to work to earn their money."

"Are any of you affiliated with the Union of Evil Minions?  And if so are you voting?"

"No and I don't really care."

"How fat is too fat?"

Kulgan points at Pat. "He knows his stuff. Focus on him."

After that he slips inside.

[bhu]

 

[oslecamo]

"How do you feel about Undead Rights?"

As long as they pay taxes.

"Did you know your Attorney regularly defends Fiends and monsters?"

[glow=grey,3200]Just remember, tomorrow it could be you that's been turned into a fiend or monster by some crazy wizard or gawd.[/glow]

"Are any of you affiliated with the Union of Evil Minions?  And if so are you voting?"

I cannot confirm nor deny anything about those topics.

"How fat is too fat?"

Morte also points at Pat. I agree with whatever he's saying.

Then she too slips inside.

[bhu]

Does Pat continue to indulge or lose patience eventually?

[Vladeshi]

His monologue will take about ten minutes if he is not interrupted, at which point he will go inside.
As for his patience, be aware that if he is discussing math his patience is nigh limitless.

[bhu]

"So, would you then support the positive body image campaign for fat women?"

"Are you personally a chubby chaser?"

"So whadda you and them ghost whores get up to in there."

It's at this point one of the aforementioned ghosts rises from the ground and grabs him by the testicles.

"Dead people don't appreciate slurs any more than live people sir.  We were a religious temple devoted to the Goddess of Gittin' Down, not a common brothel.  You wanna keep them boys I'd suggest a more polite tone."

[RobbyPants]

Mustave comments to himself inside: "Huh. I didn't know this is a church."

If not bothered, he goes to take a nap (and get precious spell slots back).

[bhu]

Your secretary is interested in annoying you: "We're being sued by multiple groups, and our free attorney is being paid for by the Evil Minions Union.  Specifically by one of their presidential candidates who has a ... issue with our Guild.  He claims you stopped his former master from taking over the world."

[RobbyPants]

Mustave sighs and pinches his nose between his eyes. "Ugh. Who's suing us, for what, and where are we in the proceedings? How much do lawyers cost? Is there anywhere we can go to get one who doesn't hate us?"

[bhu]

"The lawyer is free, and far and away more competent than we can afford.  We're being sued by a few council members for illegally housing undead, various churches for breaking their "holy laws" which probably won't fly, and the zoning board who claims we're illegally running a brothel.  Also, the Whores' Guild is claiming we're running a non-Guild establishment in a Guild only town.  Oh and we just got 10K in gold from the government.  I assume Florida went well?"

[Vladeshi]

"So whadda you and them ghost whores get up to in there."

"My good sir, I am married and take such things quite seriously."

"Are you personally a chubby chaser?"

"My wife would be best defined as petite, so I think that would be a no."

"So, would you then support the positive body image campaign for fat women?"

"The primary issue there I believe is health concerns above everything else, if one is healthy then they may feel good about their body period in my opinion."

"Now if you will all excuse me, I have some duties to attend to. I look forward to seeing your articles."

Pat then heads inside.

[RobbyPants]

"Well, nothing horrible, then. Maybe we can spin it as not 'housing' them. Should I meet with the lawyer directly?

" Oh and we just got 10K in gold from the government.  I assume Florida went well?"

"Woooo! Good news, finally! Yeah, it went as well as Florida can...

Mustave sets aside any money needed to cover guild costs, and splits the remaining amount between the members, evenly.

OOC: how much do we each get?

[bhu]

5k

A bedraggled Kobold in a leather breastplate and skullcap dragging a morningstar almost as large as himself wanders in.

"I'm Short Bob, over from the Guild of Evil Minions.  We could uh....we could use your services in a matter that appears to have gone side ways..."

[RobbyPants]

5k

5k in total to split? I'm not sure how many people its getting split between, anymore.

A bedraggled Kobold in a leather breastplate and skullcap dragging a morningstar almost as large as himself wanders in.

"I'm Short Bob, over from the Guild of Evil Minions.  We could uh....we could use your services in a matter that appears to have gone side ways..."

"That's... unsurprising. What's the problem and the payment?"

[bhu]

(You have 4 PC's left to divide that among)

"Well sir...as you probably know we, the Guild that is, provide contract services for potential Evil Overlords.  Security forces are the stereotype, but we also provide architects, cooks, handymen etc.  Every so often we get a new guy as a client.  New guys suck because they don't have much experience at the whole mastermind bit, and are sometimes prone to breaking contracts by using us as spell components."

"Well a few days ago we got a call from this guy named Big Dick Iron.  The name was a sign things would turn out bad.  We sent in a refurbishing team to restore the ruins he set up in as well as some light security.  We lost all contact today.  Me and the boys are asking for help from the other workers and their families while we negotiate with the Guild to officially fund this.  It could be a political football."

"Please sir.  We'll do anything.  These guys got families they were feeding.  And being who we are no one will help us.  You're our last shot."   

[RobbyPants]

"Wait, we might not get paid? If so, we keep everything we find, if stuff's gone south.

[bhu]

"Long as it belongs to the client and you don't rob our boys as you rescue 'em we don't care.  In the meantime we'll be lobbying the Guild for more money for you than we can raise.  With the election going on no one wants to be seen as officially being anti bad guy."

[RobbyPants]

"Can we take half a day to get patched up?"

Mustave tells the others and gives them each 1,150 gp.