Be a "monk" by taking Swordsage levels and ignoring the Monk class entirely.
Mix with either Ardent or Psion.
You'll want a high Dex, Con, and Wis or Int (or both). If you're ability-point starved, consider taking the Ascetic Psion feat.
You get Powers and Maneuvers.
• As an Erudite or Psion, you get a large number of powers, plus bonus feats. Psion powers can be great as utility and defense, but at low levels they don't compete with melee powers.
• Erudites get fewer different powers per day, so having a small "palette" of go-to powers is critical to preserving your late-day flexibility.
• As a Swordsage, you get a lot of Maneuvers, some of which can be used defensively.
To start out with, I'd suggest mixing evenly attack & utility Powers, and mixing evenly defense & attack Maneuvers. Assuming you can buff all 4 of your main stats (Dex + Con + Int + Wis), then I'd do something like...
L1: Egoist 1 // Swordsage 1
* L1 Feat: Adaptive Style
+ p1 Bonus Feat: Psicrystal Affinity
+ Quick to Act +1
+ Weapon Focus (Shadow Hand)
Maneuvers (6): Burning Blade (DW), Wind Stride (DW), Moment of Perfect Clarity (DM), Sapphire Nightmare Blade (DM), Shadow Blade Technique (SH), Sudden Leap (TC)
Stance: Step of the Wind (SS)
Powers: Demoralize, Entangling Ectoplasm, Vigor
L2: Egoist 2 // Swordsage 2
+ Int to AC
Maneuver: Charging Minotaur (SD)
Stance: Hunter's Sense (TC)
Powers: Crystal Shard, Telempathic Projection
=====
L3: Egoist 3 // Swordsage 3
* L3 Feat: Weapon Finesse
Maneuver: Shadow Jaunt (SH)
Powers: Empathic Transfer, Energy Stun
L4: Egoist 4 // Swordsage 4
+ Insightful Strike (whatever)
Maneuver: Mountain Hammer (SD), Burning Blade -> Hatchling's Flame (DW)
Powers: Control Sound, Share Pain
L5: Egoist 5 // Swordsage 5
+ p5 Bonus Feat: Expanded Knowledge (astral construct)
Maneuver: Mind over Body (DM)
Stance: Assassin's Stance (SH)
Powers: Time Hop, Hustle
L6: Egoist 6 // Swordsage 6
* L6 Feat: Shadow Blade
...
Note that this isn't optimal in any particular direction. It's generally solid, and ought to carry you across a wide variety of situations.