The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life

[KellKheraptis]

I've had to talk three people down from suicide in the past two weeks, all of whom I love to death and would be absolutely devastated if they hurt themselves.  While watching the woman I'm still hopelessly in love with go into a death spiral and all I can do in my current position is watch it all unfold.  2022 needs to chill the fuck out, already 

[Nytemare3701]

As of monday, I'm going to be permanently banned from working for Sony. They have a 0-tolerance policy for not showing up to the first day of a temp contract, regardless of extenuating circumstances. My license renewal paperwork got fucked up and I can't redo it in time to not drive with an expired license, and cops REGULARLY stop and question me so I NEED a valid license to not get ticketed/towed as soon as I roll into town.

Edit: I got a ride from someone for day 1, and it turns out they overbooked so they sent me home with $170. SAFE.

[Nytemare3701]

I just received a video file to edit. There is so much wrong I...I just...          

First off, it's 1/4 of the expected duration. The duration wasn't specified in the contract, but reference videos were supplied to know what was expected.

The video is in PORTRAIT VIEW. I'm supposed to be doing edits to the side frames and making the camera "track" the person in-frame, but as soon as they moved 6 inches to the left they are already pushing up against the side frame. Again, it wasn't specified in the agreement that it needed to be in landscape, but who the fuck films shots that have horizontal movement in STATIC TRIPOD PORTRAIT?!     

The audio is completely fucked. It's recorded on an old phone, no lav mic, no secondary source at all. On one hand, I was going to be distorting the audio anyway. On the other hand, DOING THAT RIGHT WITHOUT A CLEAN RECORDING IS A NIGHTMARE       

And for the final  , It was uploaded as a vertical video in widescreen format, meaning it went from 1080x1920 vertical to 1920x1080 horizontal with giant black bars, effectively ruining ANY benefit there was from being portrait mode in the first place.

They met the strict requirements of the request from the "what do we want them to do" angle, but since none of the technical requirements were explicitly spelled out (due to, you know, them being a person who films stuff regularly), it's almost unusable. They are no longer on location or even working with the same co-hosts at this point, so a reshoot is no good even if there was budget for it (there isn't).

Of course, the contract still puts delivering a high quality edit on us. Fuck my life. I'm gonna do the best I can, then provide a document enumerating exactly what technical limitations prevented doing the "right" edits. (Can't track the shot to the left when there IS no left)

[Nytemare3701]

Dog is nearing his end.

[bhu]

Dog is nearing his end.

 

[trappedslider]

I got so bored that I logged back into here 

[bhu]

I got so bored that I logged back into here 

Good to see you!

[Nanshork]

I got so bored that I logged back into here 

Your first post in almost three years, that's pretty bored!

[trappedslider]

so back on the 15th of this month my mom passed away, and we need some help with the cremation cost https://www.gofundme.com/f/becky-taute?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet-first-launch&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

then last friday i got into a car accident, I'm okay but my car is out of commission.

[bhu]

Ill help if I got anything left of my check, work just fucked me.

[altpersona]

so back on the 15th of this month my mom passed away, and we need some help with the cremation cost https://www.gofundme.com/f/becky-taute?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet-first-launch&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

then last friday i got into a car accident, I'm okay but my car is out of commission.

Sorry

[trappedslider]

so,we got the burial taken care of all that, I've had to move twice. The frist move was into a temp place was that was supposed to have lasted a month but instead ending up being three months. It was a converted shed, the place I'm finally in is an actual apartment, so thats awesome. I'm still looking for a car.

[Nytemare3701]

I am currently doing a very unreliable job of emotionally regulating. I went through something pretty traumatic recently, and I haven't really had any peace since then between the panic attacks, the nightmares, and my mind randomly reminding me of the specifics to trigger feelings of grief. To make matters worse, it's a thing that is generally considered by popular culture to be a motivator that men should be able to just "get over", so my deep-seated loathing towards my own masculinity is NOT helping the situation. It's something tied to both my personal and professional life, and comes up constantly. I've tried making space to cool off, but it's all so ingrained into my lifestyle that I can't work, relax, socialize, anything at all without it coming up. Everyone from my friends to my therapist say that from my end there's nothing to be done but simply try to survive until it's corrected by the other party or I exit crisis mode after a few more months, but even now my lifelong people pleaser instincts are berating me because for ONCE something is TOO unfair for me to just be content helping others, and every spike of grief makes me feel like a scumbag for not just...being happy for others like I normally would.  I've never genuinely felt resentment like this, and I understand those feelings are JUSTIFIED, but that just makes it worse, and I'm not the kind of person who feels the need to "teach people a lesson". It makes me sick that for the first time in my life I care about being wronged enough that I want someone else to overextend themselves to correct their mistake, no matter how honest that mistake was. This isn't fair, they could fix it anytime if they wanted, but they are holding our friendship hostage to protect themselves when not doing anything is just putting all the pain on me instead.

[bhu]

I am currently doing a very unreliable job of emotionally regulating. I went through something pretty traumatic recently, and I haven't really had any peace since then between the panic attacks, the nightmares, and my mind randomly reminding me of the specifics to trigger feelings of grief. To make matters worse, it's a thing that is generally considered by popular culture to be a motivator that men should be able to just "get over", so my deep-seated loathing towards my own masculinity is NOT helping the situation. It's something tied to both my personal and professional life, and comes up constantly. I've tried making space to cool off, but it's all so ingrained into my lifestyle that I can't work, relax, socialize, anything at all without it coming up. Everyone from my friends to my therapist say that from my end there's nothing to be done but simply try to survive until it's corrected by the other party or I exit crisis mode after a few more months, but even now my lifelong people pleaser instincts are berating me because for ONCE something is TOO unfair for me to just be content helping others, and every spike of grief makes me feel like a scumbag for not just...being happy for others like I normally would.  I've never genuinely felt resentment like this, and I understand those feelings are JUSTIFIED, but that just makes it worse, and I'm not the kind of person who feels the need to "teach people a lesson". It makes me sick that for the first time in my life I care about being wronged enough that I want someone else to overextend themselves to correct their mistake, no matter how honest that mistake was. This isn't fair, they could fix it anytime if they wanted, but they are holding our friendship hostage to protect themselves when not doing anything is just putting all the pain on me instead.

  Much hugs!  I wish I could do more, but my own position isn't so great either right now.

[Nytemare3701]

Update: They have been completely cut off, and since I'm on good terms with the people closest to them (their roommate and their boyfriend), I have been informed that they have been consistently fucking up there as well, to the point of potentially ending up single and not having a roommate anymore. As much as I feel for them for being in this position, they put themselves there and I can't engage with it in any way, so I just have to hope they get their head out of their ass.