In light of the holidays (Optimization Challenge)

[Sirdanile]

The challenge is simple, build Santa Claus in 8 levels or less, he has to be fat, he has to be able to get inside houses and leave stuff without being noticed, if possible he should probably have a transportation method akin to flying reindeer/sleigh... with that said who has any ideas on how to start? Maybe some Rogue or possibly some human paragon?

*Edit* HE would also need to visit every house in one night...

hmmm..

[SolEiji]

He's a dwarven wizard (dwarven for the body and beard of course).  Reduce Person and/or Gaseous Form to enter houses.  Fly on his reindeer for transportation.  Stealth... can't think of a good wizard spell to silence off hand, but for sight invisibility works.

If duration/spell slots is an issue.. what's the lowest level one can pull off either persist or circle magic cheese?  Both should help.  Of course he might be spending the remaining year crafting NI scrolls to keep his spells up too.

Also, if he can purchase items for his task, obtaining cheese needed to persist time stop lets him do it all in one night.

[KellKheraptis]

Wizard 5/Incantatrix 3 of course!  There's your persisting

[Prime32]

He's a dwarven wizard (dwarven for the body and beard of course).  Reduce Person and/or Gaseous Form to enter houses.  Fly on his reindeer for transportation.  Stealth... can't think of a good wizard spell to silence off hand, but for sight invisibility works.

Vampire could probably pull this off easier, assuming this is an NPC.

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Well, WotC handles 'the visiting every house in a single night' with an artifact sleigh.  What's good enough for them is good enough for me.

[veekie]

He's a dwarven wizard (dwarven for the body and beard of course).  Reduce Person and/or Gaseous Form to enter houses.  Fly on his reindeer for transportation.  Stealth... can't think of a good wizard spell to silence off hand, but for sight invisibility works.

Vampire could probably pull this off easier, assuming this is an NPC.

Entering homes might be a bit tricky for a vampire. Invitation wise.

[geniussavant]

He's a dwarven wizard (dwarven for the body and beard of course).  Reduce Person and/or Gaseous Form to enter houses.  Fly on his reindeer for transportation.  Stealth... can't think of a good wizard spell to silence off hand, but for sight invisibility works.

Vampire could probably pull this off easier, assuming this is an NPC.

Entering homes might be a bit tricky for a vampire. Invitation wise.

Doesn't everyone who believe in him automatically invite him in? And those who don't, well they have to buy their own presents.

[MrWolfe]

A permissive DM might let milk and cookies left out for him count as an invitation...

[Surreal]

Santa doesn't really exist... I'm thinking it's a thrallherd or diplomancer that has convinced everybody of this "Santa" and gets all his believers to do his dirty work for him and perpetuate the lie.

(click to show/hide)

I just realized that Santa must be running the most successful ponzi scheme in history

[Endarire]

Saint Nicolas is real.  And dead.

[MrWolfe]

Santa doesn't really exist... I'm thinking it's a thrallherd or diplomancer that has convinced everybody of this "Santa" and gets all his believers to do his dirty work for him and perpetuate the lie.

(click to show/hide)

I just realized that Santa must be running the most successful ponzi scheme in history

Saint Nicolas is real.  And dead.

...and a bah humbug to you too.

Figures we'd see some people in poor spirits now that the presents are open. For myself and my wife, we got coal...

...and a Wii. See you all later.

PS: The coal tastes like cinnamon

[JohnnyMayHymn]

well if it's the nightmare before christmas...

dread necromancer8, focus on fear effects and have someone else corpse craft the reindeer and use the artifact sleigh thing

[phaedrusxy]

Dwarven (I agree about the height, weight, and beard comment) warlock 8 with the Spider Climb and the dimension door invocations (for those extra-tight chimneys). Handle Animal for the magic reindeer, and the take 10 on UMD + crafting abilities to make the sleigh.  Not sure what to do about scrying on every kid in the world... maybe he has one of those magic mirrors?

[SageBahamut]

Dwarf Artificer 8 w/ Leadership and Extra Followers. All his minions to do the crafting, his own craft pool to make the magic he needs to get around. All he needs is some way to convert all those cookies into crafting pool and he'll be all set.

[Kethrian]

And what about his "elves"?  Aren't they much more likely to be gnomes?  They're around 3' to 3'6" tall, and are good at crafting mechanical things.

[dna1]

And what about his "elves"?  Aren't they much more likely to be gnomes?  They're around 3' to 3'6" tall, and are good at crafting mechanical things.

no they are literally enslaved elven children

[Prime32]

enslaved elven children

And the great mystery of population size is solved.

[Wiggins]

I think what we're looking at is a franchise being run by a group of retired PCs.

One specialising in playing around with time and space, living 1 year in the space of a single night. Clearly a wizard of Epic Levels (persistent time stop is impossible, don't-'ch'a-know.

One who maintains control of an army of toymakers, possibly trapsmiths who've been repurposed. Your standard Charismatic leader, but probably with a ruthless bent. Either a Marshall or Paladin, or something similar.

One in charge of the image, the visual, the PR. Quite possibly altering minds en mass, but more "the message guy". I'm not sure who we're looking at for this. I'm very much thinking a sharp suit, a quick smile and a strong handshake. Some odd build that scrapes Level 7 casting on it's way to collect useful Prestige Class Features.

One who has a constant eye on everyone in the world. Probably a whole department of Diviner/Unseen Seers on a tight leash, but a mind of the same sort in charge, collating all that data, working out both who was naughty and nice, what each wants for christmas, the most efficient route to deliver everything in the available time.

Are any of these the big guy himself?
Why do they do it?
What happened to the party Rogue?

[awaken_D_M_golem]

Santa doesn't really exist... I'm thinking it's a thrallherd or diplomancer that has convinced everybody of this "Santa" and gets all his believers to do his dirty work for him and perpetuate the lie.

(click to show/hide)

I just realized that Santa must be running the most successful ponzi scheme in history

Saint Nicolas is real.  And dead.

...and a bah humbug to you too.

Figures we'd see some people in poor spirits now that the presents are open. For myself and my wife, we got coal...

...and a Wii. See you all later.

PS: The coal tastes like cinnamon

  ... Surreal just ruined X-mas for my kitty avatar ... and the Eggnog.


Santa uses greed to get children to behave ;
a long enough time frame, that it's impossible to really do it ;
and when they don't, he uses Coal to keep them warm through winter, to try again.
Yet he goes back on the whole deal, and gives most kids gifts anyways.
This teaches the children that greed is OK, as is breaking contracts, and even a safety net too.

That's Lawful Evil Neutral for you ... or Diplomancy ?!

{ ... insert Detect Yugolothic tendencies smiley face ... }

[Sirdanile]

O.O

You all have officially ruined christmas for me now, I LIKE IT!