There is this guy in a a game I play who makes horrible characters. His play style is first and foremost defined by his cowardice, but also by his complete lack of understanding of the game, the game world or the real world for that matter. In short, he is an idiot, who only gets invited to these games because he is an old pal of one of the others, and the way he plays are starting to annoy me.
The last character he played was a war mage who kept AoE blasting the enemy even after the rest of the party had locked ourselves in melee, claiming that it was our own responsibility not to stand in the way of his fireballs, and when he finally kicked the bucket he returned with an archer ranger who insists on spending over half of the parties treasure on his stupid bow, which he wont even be strong enough to actually use before level 12.
I have a strong feeling that he will die long before that though, and when he does, he won't have a backup character ready. Instead, I will offer him this character, made specially for him and his style of play, and he will take it because making characters himself bores the living shit out of him. The character needs to fulfill the following four demands:
1) It has to be simple. The fewer durations he needs to keep track of, and the fewer abilities that he needs to remember to use, the better. Seriously, when this guy only barely remember to make attack rolls when it is his turn, so no fancy maneuvers or spells.
2) The character needs to be optimized for not getting in the way. A dwarven defender that just stands still and doesn't run around and blocks other peoples lines of sight would be ideal. Hell, maybe the party mage can even stand behind him and use him as a meat shield.
3) The character has to seem indomitable. Did I mention that the guy is a chicken? He needs to feel that standing perfectly still and bash away at anything that comes close is the safest thing in the world, or else he will run away at the start of every combat. He needs to have a massive chunk of HP, a high AC, good fort and will saves, and not much else. The ability to do damage is secondary, no one expects this guy to contribute anything to the party.
4) The character needs to use gear that the rest of the party can use in the event of his death. We are a cleric, a druid and a wizard, and no one wants to end up with half of the party resources sunk into a +5 mighty composite longbow +4 again.
This is not a problem that needs to be solved out of game. The guy is fine as long as he's just not getting us killed.
Anyway, here is the build Im thinking of:
Books allowed:
All official 3.5. No cross-setting though. We play in Paizos Golarion world.
Race:
Dwarf
Starting stats:
18/8/17/8/8/6. All bumps goes to con.
Skills:
3 ranks goes to Craft (Weaponsmithing), the rest goes into Intimidate
Build:
-1: Dwarf Paragon 1 Feat (Toughness)
-2: Fighter 1
-3: Fighter 2 Feat (Dodge), bonus feat (Improved Toughness)
-4: Fighter 3
-5: Fighter 4 Bonus feat (Endurance)
-6: Dwarf Paragon 2 Feat (Diehard)
-7: Dwarf Paragon 3 Ability boost (+2 con)
-8: Dwarven Defender 1
-9: Dwarven Defender 2 Feat (Power Attack)
-10: Dwarven Defender 3
-11: Dwarven Defender 4
-12: Dwarven Defender 5 Feat (Weapon Specialization: Dwarven Waraxe)
-13: Dwarven Defender 6 DR 3/-
-14: Dwarven Defender 7
-15: Dwarven Defender 8 Feat (Intimidating Strike)
-16: Dwarven Defender 9
-17: Dwarven Defender 10 DR 6/-
-18: Exotic Weapon Master 1 Feat (Improved Critical: Dwarven Waraxe), stunt (Uncanny Blow)
-19: Exotic Weapon Master 1 stunt (Show Off)
-20: Exotic Weapon Master 1 stunt (Throw Exotic Weapon)
-21: Dwarven Defender 11 Feat (Damage Reduction 9/-)
-22: Dwarven Defender 12
-23: Dwarven Defender 13
-24: Dwarven Defender 14 Feat (Bulwark of Defence), DR 12/-
-25: Dwarven Defender 15
-26: Dwarven Defender 16
-27: Dwarven Defender 17 Feat (Damage Reduction 15/-)
-28: Dwarven Defender 18 DR 18/-
-29: Dwarven Defender 19
-30: Dwarven Defender 20 Feat (Damage Reduction 21/-), bonus feat (Damage Reduction 24/-)
The party is currently 10th level, and the campaign is set to reach level 30. Remember, all we need from this guy is not to get in the way, not to die all the time, and to make the player feel like he is able to dish out a whooping in melee.
Thoughts?
