Author Topic: Optimizing a character to do nothing.  (Read 15981 times)

Offline Karlton

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Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« on: January 20, 2012, 08:52:59 AM »
There is this guy in a a game I play who makes horrible characters. His play style is first and foremost defined by his cowardice, but also by his complete lack of understanding of the game, the game world or the real world for that matter. In short, he is an idiot, who only gets invited to these games because he is an old pal of one of the others, and the way he plays are starting to annoy me.

The last character he played was a war mage who kept AoE blasting the enemy even after the rest of the party had locked ourselves in melee, claiming that it was our own responsibility not to stand in the way of his fireballs, and when he finally kicked the bucket he returned with an archer ranger who insists on spending over half of the parties treasure on his stupid bow, which he wont even be strong enough to actually use before level 12.

I have a strong feeling that he will die long before that though, and when he does, he won't have a backup character ready. Instead, I will offer him this character, made specially for him and his style of play, and he will take it because making characters himself bores the living shit out of him. The character needs to fulfill the following four demands:

1) It has to be simple. The fewer durations he needs to keep track of, and the fewer abilities that he needs to remember to use, the better. Seriously, when this guy only barely remember to make attack rolls when it is his turn, so no fancy maneuvers or spells.

2) The character needs to be optimized for not getting in the way. A dwarven defender that just stands still and doesn't run around and blocks other peoples lines of sight would be ideal. Hell, maybe the party mage can even stand behind him and use him as a meat shield.

3) The character has to seem indomitable. Did I mention that the guy is a chicken? He needs to feel that standing perfectly still and bash away at anything that comes close is the safest thing in the world, or else he will run away at the start of every combat. He needs to have a massive chunk of HP, a high AC, good fort and will saves, and not much else. The ability to do damage is secondary, no one expects this guy to contribute anything to the party.

4) The character needs to use gear that the rest of the party can use in the event of his death. We are a cleric, a druid and a wizard, and no one wants to end up with half of the party resources sunk into a +5 mighty composite longbow +4 again.

This is not a problem that needs to be solved out of game. The guy is fine as long as he's just not getting us killed.

Anyway, here is the build Im thinking of:

Books allowed:
All official 3.5. No cross-setting though. We play in Paizos Golarion world.

Race:
Dwarf

Starting stats:
18/8/17/8/8/6. All bumps goes to con.

Skills:
3 ranks goes to Craft (Weaponsmithing), the rest goes into Intimidate

Build:
-1: Dwarf Paragon 1 Feat (Toughness)
-2: Fighter 1
-3: Fighter 2 Feat (Dodge), bonus feat (Improved Toughness)
-4: Fighter 3
-5: Fighter 4 Bonus feat (Endurance)
-6: Dwarf Paragon 2 Feat (Diehard)
-7: Dwarf Paragon 3 Ability boost (+2 con)
-8: Dwarven Defender 1
-9: Dwarven Defender 2 Feat (Power Attack)
-10: Dwarven Defender 3
-11: Dwarven Defender 4
-12: Dwarven Defender 5 Feat (Weapon Specialization: Dwarven Waraxe)
-13: Dwarven Defender 6 DR 3/-
-14: Dwarven Defender 7
-15: Dwarven Defender 8 Feat (Intimidating Strike)
-16: Dwarven Defender 9
-17: Dwarven Defender 10 DR 6/-
-18: Exotic Weapon Master 1 Feat (Improved Critical: Dwarven Waraxe), stunt (Uncanny Blow)
-19: Exotic Weapon Master 1 stunt (Show Off)
-20: Exotic Weapon Master 1 stunt (Throw Exotic Weapon)
-21: Dwarven Defender 11 Feat (Damage Reduction 9/-)
-22: Dwarven Defender 12
-23: Dwarven Defender 13
-24: Dwarven Defender 14 Feat (Bulwark of Defence), DR 12/-
-25: Dwarven Defender 15
-26: Dwarven Defender 16
-27: Dwarven Defender 17 Feat (Damage Reduction 15/-)
-28: Dwarven Defender 18 DR 18/-
-29: Dwarven Defender 19
-30: Dwarven Defender 20 Feat (Damage Reduction 21/-), bonus feat (Damage Reduction 24/-)

The party is currently 10th level, and the campaign is set to reach level 30. Remember, all we need from this guy is not to get in the way, not to die all the time, and to make the player feel like he is able to dish out a whooping in melee.

Thoughts?

Offline LargePrime

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2012, 09:03:24 AM »
Ghost
InB4

Offline Prime32

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2012, 09:07:29 AM »
I was gonna say ghost too. 1-3 levels of this class - 1 is all he needs, but 3 for "you can't die ever" might help. Also, ghost handbook.
For class, maybe warlock (no area-based invocations, obviously).

Take the Slow flaw and/or the Slow trait.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 09:13:08 AM by Prime32 »

Offline sirpercival

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2012, 09:15:58 AM »
Needs more Crusader.  Crusaders are really good at standing still and taking a beating.
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Offline Prime32

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2012, 09:19:19 AM »
Needs more Crusader.  Crusaders are really good at standing still and taking a beating.
Printing out the cards is a requirement though.

Offline Agita

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2012, 09:26:45 AM »
Neither Ghost nor Crusader fit the requirements stated in the OP at all, however. If maneuvers are too complex, then Ghost sure as hell isn't simple enough. I'd say for purposes of "not getting in the way", the proposed build should do fine, though it's hard to ensure survivability without some form of magic or maneuvers.
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Offline Arz

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2012, 10:25:34 AM »
You don't need both toughness and improved to meet quals on DD. Also you might consider undermountain tactics as a further benefit to staying the hell in one spot. Good luck, cuz your gonna need it.

Offline kitcik

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2012, 10:58:58 AM »
Have you considered Gelatinous Cube as an advanceable PC?

Offline Rebel7284

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2012, 11:36:01 AM »
Stony (mineral warrior template) Mongrelfolk
LA +1
Ranger 3/Stoneblessed 3 [Dwarf]/Fist of the Forest 1/Deepwarden 2/Dwarf Paragon 2/Whatever rest

Take the feat that adds Con instead of Wis to Will saves.

Matures at level 10, or 9 with LA buyoff.

With 2x Con to AC, DR8/Adamantine, and Con naturally applying to Fort and with the feat to Will saves, he becomes reasonably good at tanking most things.

The item the build most wants is an amulet that improves Con.  If this character dies, anyone can re-use that.

The most complicated options the character has is probably power attack or perhaps the Fist of the Forest mini-rage.
Oh and remembering to take attacks of opportunity.

Constitution at level 10:
18 + 4 race + 4 template + 2 Stoneblessed + 2 level = 30 before items, so +10 modifier.
So HD + 100 hit points, +10 to two saves, 30 base AC.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 11:57:30 AM by Rebel7284 »

Offline Ziegander

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2012, 12:02:08 PM »
Build:
-1: Dwarf Paragon 1 Feat (Toughness)
-2: Fighter 1
-3: Fighter 2 Feat (Dodge), bonus feat (Improved Toughness)
-4: Fighter 3
-5: Fighter 4 Bonus feat (Endurance)
-6: Dwarf Paragon 2 Feat (Diehard)
-7: Dwarf Paragon 3 Ability boost (+2 con)
-8: Dwarven Defender 1
-9: Dwarven Defender 2 Feat (Power Attack)
-10: Dwarven Defender 3
-11: Dwarven Defender 4
-12: Dwarven Defender 5 Feat (Weapon Specialization: Dwarven Waraxe)
-13: Dwarven Defender 6 DR 3/-
-14: Dwarven Defender 7
-15: Dwarven Defender 8 Feat (Intimidating Strike)
-16: Dwarven Defender 9
-17: Dwarven Defender 10 DR 6/-
-18: Exotic Weapon Master 1 Feat (Improved Critical: Dwarven Waraxe), stunt (Uncanny Blow)
-19: Exotic Weapon Master 1 stunt (Show Off)
-20: Exotic Weapon Master 1 stunt (Throw Exotic Weapon)
-21: Dwarven Defender 11 Feat (Damage Reduction 9/-)
-22: Dwarven Defender 12
-23: Dwarven Defender 13
-24: Dwarven Defender 14 Feat (Bulwark of Defence), DR 12/-
-25: Dwarven Defender 15
-26: Dwarven Defender 16
-27: Dwarven Defender 17 Feat (Damage Reduction 15/-)
-28: Dwarven Defender 18 DR 18/-
-29: Dwarven Defender 19
-30: Dwarven Defender 20 Feat (Damage Reduction 21/-), bonus feat (Damage Reduction 24/-)

The build is fine, especially as you don't expect him to contribute anything. However...

Quote
This is not a problem that needs to be solved out of game.

This is just false. You had a four-man party that was forced to spend two shares of its wealth on the weapon of a single member of the party. That should not happen. The DM and one player should not be forcing the other three players to do anything that they don't want to do, and that's a discussion that really needs to happen (out of game, obviously) if you have any self-respect.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 12:03:44 PM by Ziegander »

Offline LargePrime

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2012, 12:06:11 PM »
I was gonna say ghost too. 1-3 levels of this class - 1 is all he needs, but 3 for "you can't die ever" might help. Also, ghost handbook.
For class, maybe warlock (no area-based invocations, obviously).

Take the Slow flaw and/or the Slow trait.
Also Vow of poverty.  No longer will take party treasure.
Also Monk.

Offline Mister Freeze

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2012, 12:09:21 PM »
Vow of poverty monk does sound like a good idea, it gets lots of shiny numbers that look attractive to noobs. 

Offline rot42

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2012, 12:23:59 PM »
Would a Dragonfire Adept fit your criteria? It is not all that great at whacking things with a stick, but if a previous character was a Warmage then this player might like exhaling fiery doom all over everything. The Endure Exposure invocation makes the party immune to all that area blasting, and the primary item needed is a Con booster for those save DCs. Choose invocations that give abilities (flight, see invisibility) rather than options (gust of wind, fog cloud), and the basic turn will be "move to where I can blast the most enemies, then do so". Energy Resistance and temporary HP for defensive buffs, and Frightful Presence and Aura of Flame could help the player feel like a badass.

Offline Empirate

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2012, 01:11:25 PM »

Quote
This is not a problem that needs to be solved out of game.

This is just false. You had a four-man party that was forced to spend two shares of its wealth on the weapon of a single member of the party. That should not happen. The DM and one player should not be forcing the other three players to do anything that they don't want to do, and that's a discussion that really needs to happen (out of game, obviously) if you have any self-respect.

+1. +2. In fact +arbitrarily high number.

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2012, 01:47:11 PM »
Realizing this is probably too complicated... but you might take a look at this character I was playing a while back. It was a barrel of fun, and the basic premise is the same (I'm so tough I could break your greatsword with my teeth). He'd also have some awesome saving throws, Iron Heart Surge for the "oh shit" answer to many problems, and fun things to do in and out of combat if he gets inspired (tremorsense, badger form for a burrow speed, scent, a cloak that lets him fly and turn into a bat, etc).

Happily, even if you forget most of the stuff on the character sheet like maneuvers and stances, the character is still tough as nails and reasonably fun to play.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 01:49:34 PM by phaedrusxy »
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Offline Maat Mons

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2012, 02:33:54 PM »
Something dead simple that will make an inexperienced player feel invincible?  This sounds like a job for troll.  There's a monster class in Savage Species.  He can spend 16,200 gp of his starting wealth to have a druid cast mantle of the fiery soul (Sandstorm) on him for immunity to fire damage (via the fire subtype).  Probably going to want steadfast determination (Player's Handbook II) on this one too. 

Offline X-Codes

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2012, 02:46:45 PM »
+1 for Troll.  Considering the backstory, seems oddly fitting...

NOTE: IMO Trolls do not earn their +5 LA.  Of course, if you waive that +5 LA, you'll make him think he's getting a bargain, and his character will be even more super-tough for the level.

Troll Giant 6/Barbarian 2 (Use Variants for Pounce and Improved Trip)/Fist of the Forest 2/some10levelPrC 20

All he has to remember is claw/claw/bite, and add another claw is he's hasted and add a trip if he hits.

Offline caelic

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2012, 05:12:08 PM »
Or, heck, just go Wildshape Ranger 5/MoMF.  It's pretty basic, and gets all that troll-y goodness.

Then again, tracking different forms might fall into "too complicated."

Offline LargePrime

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2012, 07:30:30 PM »
Troll and whatever will need gear, and weapons, which is a 'problem'.  Vow of poverty gets rid of this problem.

Also a troll is going to be in your way.  A ghost wont.  And monks are "awesome".

Offline Maat Mons

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Re: Optimizing a character to do nothing.
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2012, 08:11:10 PM »
A troll would be less in-the-way with return to nature.  That's in Eberron Campaign Setting though.