Worst 5 words a DM could say

[stanprollyright]

"Surprise Round for the Tarrasque"
"His penis does critical damage"

[Libertad]

"I hate Tome of Battle."

"Isn't Drizz't Do'Urden the coolest?"

[CaptRory]

"Isn't Drizz't Do'Urden the coolest?"

"I'm playing a Drow Ranger."

"He dual wields two scimitars."

"Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc."

[Stratovarius]

"I hate Tome of Battle."

"You must use Complete Psionic"

[RobbyPants]

"I hate Tome of Battle."

"You must use Complete Psionic"

"Everyone, roll up a Truenamer."



"Flask rogues are too powerful."

"Fireball's better than crowd control."

[Stratovarius]

"I hate Tome of Battle."

"You must use Complete Psionic"

"Everyone, roll up a Truenamer."

"You are all using Samurai"

(On a side note, I'm one of those people with a soft spot for the Truenamer, despite its terribleness. So I wouldn't mind that one.)

"We're only using my homebrew"

"An encounter from the BoEF" (Erotic Fantasy)

"Orcus readies the nipple clamps."

"...attacked by a doll golem horde."

[Fredgerd]

Did anyone else read these? (holding up core rulebooks)

The hengeyokai begin moaning erotically.

The greenhag licks your ear.

http://postimg.org/image/8hspnbcv1/

[Necrosnoop110]

"Flask rogues are too powerful."

[Psysama]

(After dice roll) Think I need a drink.

[faeryn]

"I hate Tome of Battle."

O.o do you know my DM? He said those exact words... several times...

[CaptRory]

"I hate Tome of Battle."

O.o do you know my DM? He said those exact words... several times...

You mean your former DM... riiiiiiiiiight~? 

[Lokiyn]

"I determine what roleplay is"
"remember, this is my world"
"You are just a player"
"wanting things makes you entitled"
"you'll play what i want"
"no homebrew but my homebrew"

[Stratovarius]

"no homebrew but my homebrew"

This one is actually really common, even in official settings. Dark Sun, Dragonlance, or any other heavily customized setting springs to mind.

[Lokiyn]

This one is actually really common, even in official settings. Dark Sun, Dragonlance, or any other heavily customized setting springs to mind.

True, but i generally see it mixed in with the others combined with horrible restrictive creation rules and broken dmpc's. you know, the sort of dm who punishes you for "covering your weaknesses" (by doing things like asking if you can buy a resistance item for something you have a weakness in) then makes a prc for his npc that gets true strike at will. I generally hear the phrase then start checking for conductor hats to be safe.

[Stratovarius]

True, but i generally see it mixed in with the others combined with horrible restrictive creation rules and broken dmpc's. you know, the sort of dm who punishes you for "covering your weaknesses" (by doing things like asking if you can buy a resistance item for something you have a weakness in) then makes a prc for his npc that gets true strike at will. I generally hear the phrase then start checking for conductor hats to be safe.

I'm usually not that bad. I just make monsters for myself

Back on subject:

"Spiders nest inside your flesh"
"The aboleth nuzzles you sweetly"
"Today, a Tier 6 campaign"
"That's not your real alignment"
"Save against the gnome penis"

[Nanshork]

Randomly determined race and class!

[faeryn]

"One sec, just fixing somthing"
"Roll a d20 for me" <-- at completely random moments and never tells you what it was for... but he laughs histarically when you roll a 1 and gets abnormally silent when you roll a 20...
"Whats your weakest save again?"
"...casts Reciprocal Gyre on you" <-- might as well be instant death in a high magic game...

[RobbyPants]

Randomly determined race and class!

3d6, in order, no rerolls.

[Lokiyn]

"The Warlock cannot be used,
(Due to class balance reasons)"
"My Gf will co-dm tonight,
(she's never played, it's ok)"

[stanprollyright]

3d6, in order, no rerolls.

AAAAHHHH I've actually done that.  We were all goblins.  Much dying was had.