Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear (Read 43352 times)

Nanshork · « **Reply #100 on:** August 06, 2013, 04:04:52 PM »

"Another NPC? Face stabbing time!"

bhu · « **Reply #101 on:** August 07, 2013, 07:15:23 PM »

"I may...have taken Viagra..."

Raineh Daze · « **Reply #102 on:** August 07, 2013, 07:19:01 PM »

"I poisoned all your notes."

linklord231 · « **Reply #103 on:** August 07, 2013, 07:45:36 PM »

I took Perform: Male Revue

Nytemare3701 · « **Reply #104 on:** October 16, 2015, 07:19:49 PM »

Quote from: zook1shoe on May 27, 2013, 01:34:24 AM

Can I play a gnome named Dingleberry?

Only if it's an arseplomancer.

faeryn · « **Reply #105 on:** October 20, 2015, 12:03:43 AM »

"You still don't hit me"
"Do I need to roll?" <- usually follows the previous statement...

"But I have Trapfinding" technically 4 words but still...

"Let me look somethin up"

"What can I summon again?" <- actually happened... a lot... the guys turns lasted over 15 minutes each of him looking through the monster manual to find a creature to summon...

"Did I kill it yet?"

"Can I even fail it?"

RobbyPants · « **Reply #106 on:** October 20, 2015, 01:57:02 PM »

Quote from: faeryn on October 20, 2015, 12:03:43 AM

"What can I summon again?

"How many can I summon?"

Nanshork · « **Reply #107 on:** October 20, 2015, 02:18:42 PM »

Who has my character sheet?

Stratovarius · « **Reply #108 on:** October 20, 2015, 07:23:32 PM »

I say "Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu"

Raineh Daze · « **Reply #109 on:** October 20, 2015, 08:10:44 PM »

Quote from: RobbyPants on March 10, 2012, 10:07:18 AM

"My character doesn't speak common"

(this lead to a game breaking up for me)

This is actually one of my characters. Since everyone can speak Elvish (or Undercommon, not sure which) it isn't a big deal outside of the human places, anyway. Which she hates being in.

"I seduce the important guy"

Right after failing at intimidating him. The same game also had regularly repeated "your arm's broken" since another player kept trying to do things with two hands.

SolEiji · « **Reply #110 on:** October 20, 2015, 09:07:59 PM »

Quote from: Raineh Daze on October 20, 2015, 08:10:44 PM

Quote from: RobbyPants on March 10, 2012, 10:07:18 AM
"My character doesn't speak common"

(this lead to a game breaking up for me)

This is actually one of my characters. Since everyone can speak Elvish (or Undercommon, not sure which) it isn't a big deal outside of the human places, anyway. Which she hates being in.

"I seduce the important guy"

Right after failing at intimidating him. The same game also had regularly repeated "your arm's broken" since another player kept trying to do things with two hands.

This came up with us briefly in our Witch U games. In that setting Common is technically Witchtongue, a magical language all witches know. Due to reasons, we weren't able to use our witch powers and subsequently also lost Common. Turns out, the party was split with a bunch of different languages, with half of us speaking Infernal and the other half French (because this is Earth).

Oh, and yes...

"You can't, it's a cutscene."

faeryn · « **Reply #111 on:** October 20, 2015, 11:26:30 PM »

"My character can fly naturally"

"I'll take the doors too" <-- It happened... seriously...

"I'm Immune to sneak attacks"

"Did you just try to..." <-- often followed by some serious cheese...

"Hang on, need more dice"

"Can I roll that again?"

"Can you roll that again?"

*long drawn out silence followed by maniacal laghter* "All according to my plan" <-- usually a good time to spring some unsurvivable trap on said player... you know... just because...

awaken_D_M_golem · « **Reply #112 on:** October 21, 2015, 03:37:02 PM »

"So then the doctor said ... "

bhu · « **Reply #113 on:** October 31, 2015, 05:47:06 PM »

"I bite his nutsack off."

(there's a story behind this)

Nytemare3701 · « **Reply #114 on:** October 31, 2015, 05:58:51 PM »

"Fuck it, I'm casting Wish"

Last night, I had to use Time Stop AND Wish to accomplish something. The rest of the evening was spent with the DM trying to figure out how the hell to work with the results.

zook1shoe · « **Reply #115 on:** November 13, 2015, 05:48:04 PM »

"Here's my character, Tay Tay" says creepy 70 yo lawyer guy
"Tay Tay sings 'X' song" while running away from battle

(This all actually happened in our PFS group. His pedophile ass also the become the butt of the jokes ever since he rage quit PF entirely, after oogling over a 14 yo girls chest for previous 4-5hr game)

(click to show/hide)

Tay Tay is well a well known bard in the elvish lands. However she is largely unknown outside of elfdom. Her fame s due more to her good looks and engaging personality, more than any real talent or ability. Even among the elves, she is considered to be extremely attractive.

Her overprotective father has always doted on his "little princess." Similarly, she was spoiled by her mother, perhaps because she is the youngest child and the only daughter. She has two older brothers who are quick to avenge any harm or insult to their baby sister.

At one Hundred and twenty two, Tay tay is little more than an adolescent elf. She is striking out on her own in her first big adventure outside of the elven realms. Her goals during her time outside of her homeland is to attain fame in the outside world, to learn new bardic skills, to discover new stories and songs, to observe new fashions, and to explore life on her own.

She is quite popular among young elves, although older elves often wonder why. As a result, she has a cadre of teenybopper elf groupies who follow her around constantly while at home. Even on her big adventure her groupies will catch up with her from time to time. Tay Tay loves her fans, and will invite them to teen elf slumber parties where they will sing elf songs, talk about elf boys, tell elf stories, talk about elf boys, bake lembas, talk about elf boys, do their hair and nails, and talk about boys. And they giggle -- a lot.

Tay Tay is very much a fashionista who is always well put together. She uses her prestidigitation spells to effect frequent changes of outfits. She actually has little interest in treasure or other representations of wealth. Elvish culture is not materialstic, and elves have little use for displays of social status. (This is but one of the reasons elves are superior to dwarves.) However Tay Tay will always be interested in pretty clothes, shoes and articles of adornment which enhance her looks. The funny thing is, she seems to be truly unaware of how pretty she is.

stanprollyright · « **Reply #116 on:** November 13, 2015, 07:25:13 PM »

"Mom says to Resurrect me"

"You asked for optimization, chief."

"What's my attack bonus again?"

"My character is a rapist"

"Your DMing turns me on"

"I'm playing a master baker"

RobbyPants · « **Reply #117 on:** November 16, 2015, 09:31:25 AM »

Quote from: stanprollyright on November 13, 2015, 07:25:13 PM

"I'm playing a master baker"

"I'm playing a master baiter."

followed by: "What? No. I mean Profession(fisher)."

Raineh Daze · « **Reply #118 on:** November 16, 2015, 12:02:47 PM »

Quote from: stanprollyright on November 13, 2015, 07:25:13 PM

"Mom says to Resurrect me"

"You asked for optimization, chief."

"What's my attack bonus again?"

"My character is a rapist"

"Your DMing turns me on"

"I'm playing a master baker"

I've actually asked the third one, because of levelling confusion.

faeryn · « **Reply #119 on:** November 19, 2015, 04:29:13 AM »

"Can you repeat the rules?"

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Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear (Read 43352 times)