Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear (Read 43366 times)

Monotremeancer · « **Reply #20 on:** March 12, 2012, 05:04:54 AM »

Quote from: RobbyPants on March 11, 2012, 08:55:18 PM

Quote from: bhu on March 11, 2012, 05:30:33 PM
"I'm playing a gay Paladin."
I had a player do this once.

One of mine once played a gay gnome ranger who fell head over heels in love with the human paladin (who had taken Vow of Chasity).

Balmas · « **Reply #21 on:** March 12, 2012, 05:18:00 AM »

"Druids are underpowered for me."

Monotremeancer · « **Reply #22 on:** March 12, 2012, 05:25:11 AM »

"But wizards can only blast!"

RobbyPants · « **Reply #23 on:** March 12, 2012, 07:33:11 AM »

"I Planar Bind an efreeti."

Prime32 · « **Reply #24 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:57:20 AM »

"What? But he was evil!"

"What? I'm just chaotic neutral!"

ariasderros · « **Reply #25 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:26:01 AM »

Quote from: Prime32 on March 12, 2012, 09:57:20 AM

"What? I'm just chaotic neutral!"

You are evil and a whore.

"Know what? I cast Gate."

bhu · « **Reply #26 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:33:20 PM »

"I'm playing a bisexual Minotaur."

mthor · « **Reply #27 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:15:04 PM »

I can kill other [PCs]! ( Usually not said to me but to the other PCs in question)

P.S. now i want to play a bi minotaur.

bhu · « **Reply #28 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:42:45 PM »

"My mom wants to play."

RedWarlock · « **Reply #29 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:43:56 PM »

Quote from: bhu on March 12, 2012, 10:42:45 PM

"My mom wants to play."

That really depends on the game. We had the mother of a couple of our players (brother and sister, both in their 20's/30's, so the mom was around 50-ish) join in a 1e/2e game, and manage not horribly. She needs help with the mechanics, but as player-starved as we are in my area and social circle, her enthusiasm was welcome.

Balmas · « **Reply #30 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:00:26 AM »

"I kill [that important NPC]!"

"What do you mean, No?"

"This blows. Let's play WoW."

And, the most terrifying of all, for players and DMs alike:

"I know what I'm doing."

Prime32 · « **Reply #31 on:** March 13, 2012, 07:51:51 AM »

"...and dual wielding uranium katanas"

RobbyPants · « **Reply #32 on:** March 13, 2012, 08:07:10 AM »

"I'm gonna play Smash Bros."

Quote from: bhu on March 12, 2012, 01:33:20 PM

"I'm playing a bisexual Minotaur."

"That's a fine heifer, there."

(Someone said that a player said this in his game while playing a minotaur)

The_Laughing_Man · « **Reply #33 on:** March 13, 2012, 12:41:06 PM »

" I don't have any food."

..one player said when the DM wanted us to track our rations.

phaedrusxy · « **Reply #34 on:** March 13, 2012, 12:42:48 PM »

Quote from: Prime32 on March 13, 2012, 07:51:51 AM

"...and dual wielding uranium katanas"

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking milk when I read this, because it would have surely squirted out of my nose...

Tshern · « **Reply #35 on:** March 18, 2012, 09:58:17 PM »

I was entering a game where the DM is an excellent optimiser, but the other players were (I did not know that at that point) rather unimpressive when it came to creating characters. In short, these words caused the DM to give me a very, very bad look and he told me to tone down my characters plans to around 10% of its original effectiveness: "Hey, we using taint rules?"

SorO_Lost · « **Reply #36 on:** March 19, 2012, 01:14:46 AM »

"But the rules say this."
Argumentative player on house rules.

"My character is Chaotic Neutral."
Player on what is Alignment anyway?

"I want to play Halo."
Mindless player afraid of thinking.

"Chuck Norris can cure cancer."
Oh for f*cks sake stfu already.

"I got this off minmaxboards"
Player with way to many zeros added on the end of his numbers.

"I push the button, hard."
Player on what's this do?

"I rolled a successful save"
Player on rolling dice and how saying 'one' just sounds stupid.

"I have an Erudite Cohort."
Player on why he's carrying a second character sheet.

imoenofcandlekeep · « **Reply #37 on:** May 03, 2012, 11:24:38 PM »

Quote from: littha on March 11, 2012, 06:23:39 PM

"Is BoEF an allowed Source?"

+1. Oh, so much.

"But Psionics are totally broken!"

sirpercival · « **Reply #38 on:** May 03, 2012, 11:28:46 PM »

I'll play Bear (w/ swordchucks)

bhu · « **Reply #39 on:** May 03, 2012, 11:31:37 PM »

"My sweat tastes like oranges."

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Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear (Read 43366 times)