Edit your RL character sheet!

[absolon]

In those times of day at work when I'm waiting for stuff to cool down, evaporate or equilibrate, my mind wanders and thinks of wacky possibilities. During such a time last week, I thought to myself, "What if my current self could be translated to a D&D 3.X character sheet, with me being the DM for the purposes of determining level, and what's allowed for me and me alone? What if I could edit the essence of my capabilities?" The obvious thought for many of us is that we might have some fun having the power of a TO wizard with anything goes or having the ability to pick up the moon and chuck it at Mars or whatever.

Then I thought, "Well, I could do that, but what about a combination of stuff that reflects what I can do now and some other things that could make me just *awesome* at life?" I ultimately arrived being a Gestalt of the PF versions of Artificer//Telepath with a few fixes to Artificer for stuff that didn't make any sense. Thus, I could not only be freakin' awesome at my job and my future career but make just about anything. If I had to deal with HR or jerkface coworkers/students/bosses, I would use my Mind Control or Empathic Connection powers to make them not a problem anymore. Plus, with no display other than mental, no hand movements, no magic words or anything, I could do it incognito! Really, the only reason I got Telepath too is because I wanted some abilities on demand, such that I wouldn't have to build everything. 

So I'm curious, if you could edit your RL character sheet, what would end up doing?

[xaotiq1]

I statted myself as a level 3 Human Paragon (UA/SRD). To be honest, though, I'd make more sense as a commoner. If I was being kind, I'd go for Wilder.

[Maat Mons]

I was just thinking the other day that cloistered cleric would be good at life in general. 

[Kajhera]

I'd switch my monk levels to swordsage and make the Kung Fu Genius feat work to replace the swordsage wisdom-to-AC for int-to-AC.

Then I could advance in it without being Lawful. 

Subsequently, I'd adapt Jade Phoenix Mage to psionics and multiclass with either shaper or metacreativity-focused erudite. My psicrystal would be ruby due to my birthstone and the programming language I happen to be currently fascinated with. (Personality: Artiste.)

I would also say craft universal item would enable psionic traps.

(Other classes of interest to me are factotum and artificer, but this is my answer for the time being.)

[awaken_D_M_golem]

Half Human / Half Arcanaloth / Half Slaadi (unknown)

... turned into a Brain In A Jar.

Then I got Mind Switched into my kitty avatar.

[Libertad]

I'd make myself an Illumian Wizard Diviner/Loremaster.  I'll Plane Shift over to Boccob's place in the Outlands and begin working on entering all the contents of his library into Wikipedia entries.

And that's how the Spell Compendium came into being.

[Karlton]

I would:

- Change my race to Elan, because aging sucks monkey balls.
- Cut back on my strength to accomodate more int and a little more cha... At least enough to offset the Elan cha-penalty.
- Exchange my levels in Expert with wizard levels.
- Oh, and why not put a '2' in front of whatever level I am now? Being a level 22-ish wizard is great fun, or so I hear.
- Get a dog familiar, because having a talking dog would RULE!
- Make sure to own a spellbook with the following spells: Wish, Limited Wish, Plane Shift, Dominate Monster, Genesis, Greater Planar Binding and Time Stop. Of course I want more spells, but these are the most important.
- I would add an epic spell that could boost my charisma past that of a deity for a few hours/casting.. For the lulz.
- Hell, I would make six versions of the above spell, one for each stat.

I suppose that I could do a lot more, but why bother?

[absolon]

This is good stuff guys!  Think about what you could do with your current career (or lack thereof) and make it better. Think about new hobbies you could indulge. Would you want to be in the public eye? Would you be involved with politics? Would you make a lot of money or make yourself independent from such things? Change the world with discoveries or just get away from it all?

Right off the top of my head, I might make a magic item that doesn't allow my body to consume more calories than my metabolism may require. That way, if I'm visiting with friends and we're going out to eat or just feel like eating a goddamned hamburger and a milkshake, I won't get fat(ter). Little things like that can make life a bit more awesome IMO.   

[littha]

I was actually thinking something along these lines a while back... Swap race Human > Succubus and think of all the fun you could have.

[Karlton]

Right off the top of my head, I might make a magic item that doesn't allow my body to consume more calories than my metabolism may require. That way, if I'm visiting with friends and we're going out to eat or just feel like eating a goddamned hamburger and a milkshake, I won't get fat(ter). Little things like that can make life a bit more awesome IMO.   

You have your own character sheet between your hands, with the ability to redo ALL of it within the rules of your favorite gaming system, and you think that an item that can save you from gaining weight by overindulging in things that bring you pleasure would be a good idea? My friend, you underestimate the wonders of magic! Cast 'Magic Jar' on some idiot that pisses you off (there is always one..), and drink a freaking LAKE of milkshakes on his expense! Or polymorph into a copy of yourself, eat to your hearts content, and then polymorph back! Or.. There gotta be a million ways around this problem. Your imagination is your limit, go nuts. And oh, why ever worry about weight if you have your sheet handy? If you don't like the number in the 'weight' field, change it.

But now that you steered me in this direction, I think that I am regretting my choice of caster class. An OA shaman would be much cooler than a wizard IRL, because:

1) Face it, the power to bring back the dead and restore full health to anyone no matter their illness or injury rules. Your friend died? Well, he got better. Out of money? Never, the world is full worn down rich guys. Want to be the head of a cult? This is the way!
2) You get kung-fu powers! Not enough to kill level appropriate encounters, but enough to look cool.
3) Fact: When editing your sheet, you will most likely end up boosting your cha-score. A lot. This class actually makes use of it.

So yeah, a Shaman 22 for me. Maybe even a monk 2/shaman 20, just for kicks.. Pun intended.

[absolon]

Right off the top of my head, I might make a magic item that doesn't allow my body to consume more calories than my metabolism may require. That way, if I'm visiting with friends and we're going out to eat or just feel like eating a goddamned hamburger and a milkshake, I won't get fat(ter). Little things like that can make life a bit more awesome IMO.   

You have your own character sheet between your hands, with the ability to redo ALL of it within the rules of your favorite gaming system, and you think that an item that can save you from gaining weight by overindulging in things that bring you pleasure would be a good idea? My friend, you underestimate the wonders of magic! Cast 'Magic Jar' on some idiot that pisses you off (there is always one..), and drink a freaking LAKE of milkshakes on his expense! Or polymorph into a copy of yourself, eat to your hearts content, and then polymorph back! Or.. There gotta be a million ways around this problem. Your imagination is your limit, go nuts. And oh, why ever worry about weight if you have your sheet handy? If you don't like the number in the 'weight' field, change it.

But now that you steered me in this direction, I think that I am regretting my choice of caster class. An OA shaman would be much cooler than a wizard IRL, because:

1) Face it, the power to bring back the dead and restore full health to anyone no matter their illness or injury rules. Your friend died? Well, he got better. Out of money? Never, the world is full worn down rich guys. Want to be the head of a cult? This is the way!
2) You get kung-fu powers! Not enough to kill level appropriate encounters, but enough to look cool.
3) Fact: When editing your sheet, you will most likely end up boosting your cha-score. A lot. This class actually makes use of it.

So yeah, a Shaman 22 for me. Maybe even a monk 2/shaman 20, just for kicks.. Pun intended.

Hell yes I think my magic item would be a good idea, simply because I could share it if I wanted (easily when compared to having to cast polymorph every time because I like to frontload the work into my solutions)! When it comes to the good things in life, I don't require much to achieve happiness, but that's the whole point of the thread, no? What would YOU do? I could edit my sheet for lower weight for instance but the item route is simply more my style. You would rather have fun/food at your enemy's expense. I'd rather eat pizza, drink beer without having to take the effort to go find those jerks.

If I want to get back at my enemies, I think Mind Controlling them into humiliating themselves and making them do things that would ruin their life's work would be more my cup of tea. If you can keep your abilities under wraps (using Modify Memory or other things when you screw up), you could ruin your enemy's lives completely and no one, not even them, would know that you did it. That's not to say that you couldn't openly express your schadenfreude; I certainly would. I can certainly appreciate the scope of possibilities for any number of issues. The example was meant to be simply that, but you made me think about it more.   

[Maat Mons]

I might make a magic item that doesn't allow my body to consume more calories than my metabolism may require.

I'd go in the opposite direction.  I'd get a ring of sustenance.  I'd never have to cook, go to the grocery store, or go to the bathroom again.  The six extra hours of free time a day is an nice bonus. 

[Karlton]

Given the power of an epic spellcaster, I actually think that I would become less inclined to seek vengeance on people who do me wrong than I am now. Sure, I might make a person pay for their deeds if I meet someone who has treated me wrong in the past, either by frighten them off so that they never cross me again or by a few token annoyances, but actually ruining their lives would feel wrong. Ruining a vacation? Sure, seizing control of my primary school bullies body through Magic Jar just as he is walking through the security check with his family and in-laws could lead to some fun and justice. As I will never forget what he did to me, I will make sure that he will never be allowed to forget what I did to him. But ruining the mans life, as in robbing him of anything more than his dignity? Nah, I would be above that.

[kitep]

I'd go in the opposite direction.  I'd get a ring of sustenance.  I'd never have to cook, go to the grocery store, or go to the bathroom again.  The six extra hours of free time a day is an nice bonus.

Some of us enjoy eating way too much to want to not have to eat.  Not cooking though, would be nice.

[bhu]

give myself a job and the ability kill people telepathically via the internet

[DonQuixote]

So, sometimes, in the morning...when I've been up late working on homebrew...I'll go through the arduous task of statting myself out for the day.  Not as a thought exercise, you understand, but because I'm tired enough that I actually believe that it is an essential process that must be completed.  Historically, I've statted myself as an elemental adept (for those who don't want to read through the homebrew, it's basically an elemental blaster that gets an elemental as a companion).

Weirdly enough, I've only ever statted myself out as an air or water adept--the two elements that I like the least.  Hell, I flat-out hate water.

So, step one is fixing that silliness and rebuilding myself as a fire adept, as I should have been all along.  The second step is changing my race to something with a Charisma bonus and a Wisdom penalty, since one of those two ability scores is useful in my life.  Come to think of it, I could convert the whole thing to a fire-devoted stoichen elemental adept (same homebrew class as before, just with racial substitution levels that essentially make you into an elemental, rather than giving you a companion) and be happy forever.

I'd definitely end up taking Trickery Devotion as a feat, since that's just classy.  Also, a one-level dip in Marshal for Motivate Intelligence, allowing me to just rely on the ol' charm to get me through the last year of college.

Getting limited items of teleportation would also probably be a good idea, allowing me to teleport to and from each location once per day (once there, once back).  Get, oh, two sets of those?  Maybe three?  Damned convenient.

Oh!  I almost forgot the most important one.  Getting something--anything--that removes the necessity of sleeping.  That "something" cannot be "being an elf," because just...screw that.

[sirpercival]

That "something" cannot be "being an elf," because just...screw that.

Lol.

If I could change my char sheet to be ANYTHING... I'd probably be Ransom, my shadowcraft mage.  Because then I could be anything and do anything I wanted on a regular basis.

[Halinn]

Hoping that Life has a lenient DM, I'd try for Pun-Pun

[awaken_D_M_golem]

I might make a magic item that doesn't allow my body to consume more calories than my metabolism may require.

I'd go in the opposite direction.  I'd get a ring of sustenance.  I'd never have to cook, go to the grocery store, or go to the bathroom again.  The six extra hours of free time a day is an nice bonus.

  ... and what  are you doing that takes so long, in the bathroom ?


 

[Balmas]

Well, right now I'd probably stat myself out as something like a rogue.  I'd want to be an Aasimar Bard/Cleric, because that's kind of how I'd see myself in D&D.