Flaming Sphere (SL2/CL3): 150 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (21.43 gp/hp)
Duration: 3 rounds (7.14 gp/hp)
Flaming Sphere (SL2/CL5): 250 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (35.71 gp/hp)
Duration: 5 rounds (7.14 gp/hp)
Flaming Sphere (SL2/CL10): 500 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (71.43 gp/hp)
Duration: 10 rounds (7.14 gp/hp)
Flaming Sphere (SL2/CL20): 1000 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (142.86 gp/hp)
Duration: 15 rounds (7.14 gp/hp)
As you can see the gold to damage ratio gets worse, the higher the caster level, but even when you damage someone every single round for the entire duration, the ratio never gets better. The advantage of this spell is to allow you to do a little extra damage as a move action. Or maybe to scare the pants out of everyone. Read on, true believer, read on.
Pryrus Incendium’s Blazing Phallus of Hate and the Scrotum of DOOM! (9000 gp)
Flaming Sphere Explosive/Sculpt/Quicken (SL9/CL20): 4500 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (642.86 gp/hp)
Duration: 20 rounds (32.14 gp/hp)
Flaming Sphere Born of the Three Thunders/Energy Substitution (Electricity)/Explosive/Sculpt/Twin (SL9/CL20): 4500 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (642.86 gp/hp)
Duration: 20 rounds (32.14 gp/hp)
The story behind this scroll is a little complicated. Originally, Pryrus Incendium was a professor at a university of magic who was known to be a no nonsense, gruff, and bombastic teacher who brooked no fools. Loudly berating a student who had played a prank on another student, Pryrus was struck dumb when the student shouted back, “You’re just a shriveled, limp dick with no sense of humor!” After being staring at for a good minute, Pryrus’ face getting redder and redder by the moment, the student was quite surprised to find the professor abruptly turn and stalk off without saying a word.
For the next three weeks, Pryrus didn’t yell at anyone. He was quiet, reserved, canceled all after class meetings, and became reclusive. The student wondered if he had really hurt the teacher’s feelings, but he never got reprimanded, and everyone else was just happy the professor wasn’t riding everyone so hard. That is, until scroll practice.
Everyone was practicing using scrolls, using up old first and second level spells that were languishing in the school vaults that nobody would buy or use. The prankster had gotten a scroll of flaming sphere. He was a little curious as to why the professor Incendium was watching from a tower window, as this wasn’t a class that Pryrus taught. However, the student only gave it a passing though, an action he would come to regret later.
Upon opening his scroll the secret page reveled itself and the magic of the scroll compelled him to read both spells in rapid succession. A Giant Burning Phallus, a hundred and twenty feet long shot straight up into the sky out of the student’s groin, a purplish helmet upon the top. On either side, appeared two giant, forty foot wide balls of crackling electricity and booming thunder. Stunned by the Born of the Three Thunders, the student was unable to do anything except stare in wonder, then horror, as a programmed illusion was triggered. A simple message, that boomed out across the practice field and echoed into the distance (an amazing imitation of the student’s voice, one might add), “BEHOLD! You all shall DIE at the hands of my Blazing Phallus of HATE, and crushed beneath the Scrotum of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
Where upon the giant penis came crashing down into the crowd of stunned on lookers.
In the aftermath, the student was almost tossed out of the school, if it wasn’t for Professor Incendium. He urged restraint and that it was just a prank, “After all, shouldn’t we all have a sense of humor?” The student never asked the professor if he was behind it, but told everyone else what he thought had happened. After that, Pryrus resumed after class meetings and went back to his usual self. All the students went back to fearing Pryrus’ rants, but they came to fear when he got quiet, more.
Game mechanics:
Technically, it’s cursed.
Since then, a few copies of his scroll have gotten out into general circulation. It always appears to be a normal Flaming Sphere spell, even detects as one, although a detect curse will show something is up. The actual spell can be deciphered with a DC 30 spellcraft check. Once you start reading it, both spells appear on the scroll and you are compelled to read both in rapid succession. You cannot cast it at range, as it always springs forth from the reader’s groin. The scroll imitates the reader’s voice to give the above speech, then the 120’ by 5’ penis comes crashing down directly in front of the user. Anyone on either side of him or in front has to make a DC 13 reflex save or take damage and be tossed to the side, by the explosive properties. The twin balls have a habit of catching the user’s allies by accident.
On the upside, after the one round of stun, the user is free to direct all three, ahem, “parts” in unison, not something normally allowed, as one move action, but each part can move independent of the others. The use of one of these scrolls has changed the tide of battle against a thousand orcs, as a 120 long tube of fire cut through their ranks and twin balls of electricity and sonic thunder rolled to the attack. While the damage was minimal, the psychological effect was stunning.
When used in an enclosed space, the three parts are compressed to fit without incident, and never occupy the square of the caster. Everyone else around him, however, has no such luck. One such accidental use resulted in half the people in the area trying to stand up and the other half being tossed into the walls over and over as they tried to escape the overlapping fields of energy. Alas, once wedged into an enclosed area, there is no room for the spell to roll, thus escape is only possible for those who make their saving throws and can run out of the area fast enough. Any DM sick enough to leave this lying around is encouraged to make sure it’s application is as humiliating as possible, not deadly, as that is the curse’s intent.
Yes, life is chock full of event when you have a giant, burning, phallic substitute that you can roll all over your enemies.
Flaming Sphere Empower (SL4/CL7): 700 gp
Damage: 2d6 x 1.5 = Avg 10.5 hp (66.67 gp/hp)
Duration: 7 rounds (9.52 gp/hp)
You’d be better off with a ice storm, which is sad.
Flaming Sphere Energize (SL3/CL5): 375 gp
Damage: 2d6 x 1.5 = Avg 10.5 hp vs undead (35.71 gp/hp)
Duration: 5 rounds (7.14 gp/hp)
Zombies are known to walk right though things that would kill them, so a ball of this in the path of advancing undead in a bottle neck may actually be more effective then a fireball. Maybe. We’ll see.
Flaming Sphere Empower/Energize (SL5/CL9): 1125 gp
Damage: 2d6 x 2 = Avg 14 hp vs undead (80.36 gp/hp)
Duration: 9 rounds (8.93 gp/hp)
Again, undead killer. Meh.
Flaming Sphere Lingering (SL3/CL5): 375 gp
Damage: 2d6 + 1d6 = Avg 7 + 3.5 hp (35.71 gp/hp)
Duration: 5 rounds (7.14 gp/hp)
Alas, we can’t seem to break that 7.14 barrier. Not a bad fan of damage over time, but lingering is just as good as empowering in this case.
Flaming Sphere Born of the Three Thunders/Explosive/Widen (SL7/CL13): 2275 gp
Damage: 2d6 = Avg 7 hp (325.00 gp/hp)
Duration: 13 rounds (25.00 gp/hp)
What wizard in his right mind would scribe this? Maybe it’s an insane druid who spent too much time talking to trees and went all blighter. You are stunned the first round, then after that your targets have to make multiple saving throws or be stunned, thrown backwards, and knocked prone (Possibly twice). The widen allows you to block off a 10x10’ area, which is most corridors. Pity it stops rolling when it hits a target, but that doesn’t stop someone from running through it. Damage is only once a round, mind you. The widen makes sure that if you fail your saves entering it, you get knocked back the way you came. A normal explosive Flaming Sphere would have all sides the ‘closest’ side, thus ejection would be random.