Author Topic: Campaign Thread VI: Hippos are cute until you realize they poop... (Read 198310 times)

bhu · « **Reply #640 on:** July 22, 2013, 09:01:23 PM »

"Goddamit open this fuckin' door!"

the pounding ceases

VennDygrem · « **Reply #641 on:** July 22, 2013, 10:26:43 PM »

El Cangrejo stares at the person banging on the open door from outside the guildhouse.

bhu · « **Reply #642 on:** July 22, 2013, 10:42:16 PM »

The Sheriff and about a dozen mages with staves at you wave back.

"Hello Cangrejo, everything okay?"

VennDygrem · « **Reply #643 on:** July 22, 2013, 10:52:17 PM »

"El Cangrejo is in a constant state of okayness. The Guild, well, it seems to be less okay as it is tending to draw to it many detractors. We have just now had a group of aggressive trespassers who would not agree to leave our property without initiating violence upon us. It is a sad day when visitors break into your home and attack you unprovoked."

A sad, introspective look crosses the Luchador's face.

"But I ramble. What can we assist you with, Sheriff?"

bhu · « **Reply #644 on:** July 23, 2013, 12:56:51 AM »

"Your neighbors called the Law when they started hearing explosions, and started rambling about death cultists. You got any of them left?"

jojolagger · « **Reply #645 on:** July 23, 2013, 01:51:01 AM »

The spider responds, with a strange and otherworldly voice.
T͍̩̣̭h̨͇̼͕͔̟ͤ͑͑ͤͣe͖͙̟͂̕ŕ̫̱͇̤̍ͅe͚̯͉̤̭̤ ͬ̈̚͏͉̪̘̣̭̱r͎̖̰͖͊͐͊ͧe̙̠̫͐ͥ̐͑̚͝m̛͙̮ͮ̐a̴̻̪͖̝͛̓̔ͨi̯̠̪̲͔̳̼ͣ͗ͯ̓ͮͥn̝̜̳̣͇͍͐s̶̜̫̣͎̺̗͑̃ ̛͈̜ͤ̈́̉̓ͬ̑o̻̗͊ͧ̌̊ͣͅņ̣͖͉̗̣ͩ͐è͙̆͋ ̱̝͇͙͙̤̅͞p̥̟̂r̾̌͂҉̗̜͔͓͖i͈̲̼̲̯̣͙e̮͓̾̈͐ͧ͜s̤̬̋ͮ̃ͤt̯̦̳͚̱̒̔͛̆̍̆ͦ ̮ȯ͐͏̼̺̯f̺̼̫̪̺̭͓̊͆ͭ ͔Nͥ̊ͣ̇̔̓͛҉͉̪͚̮̫̱a̯̬̖̯͕͛͊͆t̪̫̼̣͎́ͫ͆͠a͇͕̻s̀͛ͭͪ̋͛҉̥̟͙͙̜̙̜h̵́a̧̬̦̝͎͋̃ͦ͊̈́ͥ͐.̭̰ͭ̆̆̈́̊
It also appears to be floating at about eye level, so it isn't damn near impossible to see.

bhu · « **Reply #646 on:** July 23, 2013, 02:17:50 AM »

The chickens re-enter teh room, see the spider, and quietly back out the way they came.

RobbyPants · « **Reply #647 on:** July 23, 2013, 07:45:50 AM »

Mustave walks up to the Sheriff. "Sorry about that. I was a bit occupied. Like the creepy spider said, there is one left. Careful! He's a wild one!"

bhu · « **Reply #648 on:** July 23, 2013, 05:22:10 PM »

"I have been kidnapped and am being magically restrained against my will."

RobbyPants · « **Reply #649 on:** July 24, 2013, 07:39:45 AM »

"You attacked us when we told you to go away and your buddies snook in the back way."

bhu · « **Reply #650 on:** July 24, 2013, 06:30:17 PM »

"I have been assaulted with chemicals and spellcraft. I would like to press charges."

VennDygrem · « **Reply #651 on:** July 24, 2013, 07:22:05 PM »

"If you press charges, we will be forced to press charges against you for breaking and entering, as well as trespassing and a host of other crimes. Besides that, perhaps you forget that there are ways to bring the truth out of you. Some of them you may not like, mi amigo."

jojolagger · « **Reply #652 on:** July 24, 2013, 07:30:48 PM »

Then Spider begins reciting a list at the mention of their crimes.
H͐o̡̳̮̺̲̻̽̏̑̇ͤ̉̌ṁͨ̆̿e̴͎̣̠͎̳̎̆͛͒͆̌͌ ͈͉̿̌̂̐ͥ͑ͫ͝Į̫̘͚͕͉̪n͓̼͎̳͌̍ͅv̫̠̰ͭa̤̞̯̯͍̫ͬͅs̥̪ͭ̏́̊͊̃̊i̸̱o̻͛ͫ̚n̤̫̻̙̍̉̾͑̇̊,̫ ̰̥̣B̻̭̍͌ͤ̉͘r̶̻̝̥̤͕̒ͧͭ̉ͦe͕͙̰̯̙͠ă̮͉̽k̈́ͧ̈̉̚i̝͕̮̠̺̩̘ñ̷͚͕͍͍̥̤ͅg̝̜̊ ̩̩̩̆a̰̅̋͛̇ͧn̺̤͛̃̀dͥ͂ͨ̍̋̋ ̡͔̿̔ͤ̎̉̚Ęn̪̟̆ͪ͐́́̐̀ͅt̼̬̲͖̣͔͛͑̇̓́e̢̺̲ͥͣŗͫi̼͓̪̟͈͇͈ͭͤͣ̂̈͗n̡̞̰̗̼͚͔̣ͯͮ̿ͥg̠̪̘͍̗̰͇ͥ̆̔ͬ̒ͭ,͕ͅ ̶̱̲T̞r͔̬̮̅̓̚͢ẻ̩̭̃̄s͓̩͙̤̞̯̑̈p͚̟̮͖͐ͫ̚a̎̾̽̀͏̠̹̖̻̝͙s̈̈́ͦ͏̖̦̰̳͎̯sͮ̌̏̔ͫï̪n̻̰̳̮g̺̭̽͛ͦͥ͌ͩ͐ ̴͙̳̼͇̭̞͑͊Ā̧̰̼͖̫̟͆̋̈̊s͔̲̜̹̜̤̾̈́͡s̻̼ͭ́͛ͧ͢a̺̪̳̯̤͇̞ͨͣu̟̙̓̈́̇̑̏̾͐ļ͚̱̱̼̻̆͑tͪͪ̈́͋ͩ̚҉͎̣͔ͅ,̈́̌̀̓͏͖̼͚̥ ̹̰̯͉̮̻͊̂͗ͣͣ͊͊A̡̻͎̱t͕̲̓ͥ͋t̫̟̒͌̌͘ḙ̖̭̞̍̚m̤̗͍̫̥̈p̖̓̓̂ͮͥ͡t͍e̯̠̯ͩ̅̆̆d̜̰̱ͯ͊̐̍̍ ̡̼̣̥̥͋̒̎M̖̜ͧͥ͛̾̈́̓ͦ͡ṵ̑ͩ̾ͪ͞r͛̊ͭ́̇ͩ҉d̩̭̻͚̦̖ͦͤ͊̌e̫͇̲̓̈͐̈͢ͅr̗̝̟͓͇̞̖ͬͦ͋͠,̞̝̭͆̐ͫ͜ ̞̤ͩ̄̊ͥJ̣͈̣͚̭̖̤̀̃̾̈́̈ͯȁͯ̓̿̔̅y͉̭̦ͬͦ̚͠ ̼̞͕͉̰͑W̘̳̺̭͕̖͉̒ͯͯăͥ̓̐́͞l̩͔̩ͥ̿̉ͨ̿͞k̰̝̗̱͈͕̊ͪ̐ͪ̃̂i̶͎̫͐͐ͯ̃̇ͮnͯͬg͓̝̻͔̗ͪ͋͑̾̉̎̓,̻̦͉̞̦̼̽ͤͮ̿̈̏ ̢ͮͯ̍̍D͉̃ͩͪ̀ͅì̧̹͚͔̰͖̒͊̌ͭͥ͋s͂̎͊̐̊̈́̓́c̳̭͓̜̼̟͋͌͋̔̍̀r̫͚͓͇͎̹̒̓͑͊ͯ̆i̹̬̳̼̘̠̒̓̍̈́ͧm̴̱͖̟̯͇̞ͣͨ̎̑î̱̹̣͑͌ͯͅn̵͍͉͈̤̞ͮ̿̑̇̓͛̌ā̻̱̫̖̍̓̚͞ͅt̤͕̲̟̟̪ͨ͛͒̆̾ì̜͙̹͖̟̦̞ͪ̌̍̕o̸͎̲͚̮n͖͖̈̕,̷̬ͩ͊̉̏̑ ͈̘̘͕̣̮̌ͬ͐ͩ̂P̏ͭ͋̓̀̓̕o̜̠̱̠̩͎͑̃ͮͬ͗͛ͅs̘̞ͫ̐́s̠̩̲͞e͊҉͕̦̞s̗̲̼̖̆ͥͥ̿̋s̱ͦͮ͠i̭̖̩̇̒̾͑ͨ̒o̞̯̠͎̬̐n̨͖͈͇̱̼͉̮͂ ̀̔͐̓͛o͎͗̋͌͐̂f̧͕̻̬̬͙̲̪͋̓̋́ͮ̌ ̞ͣ͆Ṋ̛̇ͫ̈a̴̠̬̟̦̝̱̾ͬͫ͐r͎̟͚͙̪̖̋ͤ̀̊̓͠c̵̺͈̦̯̦̔̌̅̆̃̓ͅö͚̰͚̺̻́ͥ͆̌ͮt̢̳͍̝͕̳̔̆̎i͚̬̞͉͗ͦ͊͋ͬ͆c͌ś͇̮̮͓̠̱̙.͖ͩͧ́͊ͮͦͤ͝
The Spider seems rather smug.

bhu · « **Reply #653 on:** July 24, 2013, 08:47:12 PM »

The Sheriff looks down at the spider "Who are you?"

jojolagger · « **Reply #654 on:** July 24, 2013, 09:51:07 PM »

The Spider happily responds.
Ṭ͂a̞͆ͫ̽̽ͦ͆l̄͛͋ͨ͋͑̚ü̓p͍̫͇̌ͪ̈́̊̿ͥà͓̪͖̳͍̝̣̉d͔͌ͣ̓ͣė͖̰̖̻̗͇̀s͚̣͌̋ͬ͑̚͝o͈̜͙̘͞ͅṅ͎͇̄ͪ͒͒̌,̵͕̖͚̹̞̗̽̃ ͍͙̮̮͚͚̱̔͌̌ͯͦ̿̈͢Eͬ̋̔̏̏ͬ̋͠x͔̝͔͍͈̩͍ͯ͗̆̂ͩa̩̥͔͉͍͖ͥ̊̿ͅl͙̺͓̬̻͎̩̔̆ͫ͊̿t͕͔̰̋͊̊̾͂̀e͍̱̠̣̎ͤ̑d͔̥͚̪̻̊͑͐ͧ͛̊͡ ̟̪̍͜O͍̦̺̅̐ͪ͛̆͐n͍̣̿͌̎ͫ̚eͮ͂ͩ̉̌̾̀ ̩̞͋ͨͯȯ̲̺̐̑ͨͥ͊͠f̸̳̯͓̞ͤ̏̌ͥ̽̐ ͇̮̱͉ͭ̋A̯̩̦̝͚̩̼͌̈̉̍n̘̦̤͍̼̜͖t̷̜̻̗̼̥̠i̹̰̊̋͒̐͛o͕̭͈͖̭͚ͭc͎͓̟̥̟̩̯̎ͬ͋̉ḧ͎̟̮̘͓́

bhu · « **Reply #655 on:** July 24, 2013, 10:11:43 PM »

"Great. Just what the city needs. More priests. So did you people sign him on with El Cangrejo?"

RobbyPants · « **Reply #656 on:** July 25, 2013, 07:49:43 AM »

Mustave shrugs. "I didn't, but I've been rather busy."

He looks to the other guild members to see if they respond.

Sir Shadow · « **Reply #657 on:** July 25, 2013, 11:01:23 AM »

Bartholomeow is busy tossing Death Priest bodies into a pile for later inspection. What better way to stick it to Natasha? Unless of course they have some kind of ward against being brought back.

jojolagger · « **Reply #658 on:** July 25, 2013, 03:25:17 PM »

The Spider explains to Sheriff, somewhat annoyed at being compared to a stuff preacher.
I͖͚̥ͭ̊̂̇̔̄ ̵̩͚̼͖̻̠͈̅̃̒̏̑w̔ͬ͒͋ͪa̷͈̼͇͈̖̘͕̓̌́ͣs͉̙̼̉̓̽̃̈́ͯ̕ ̘͔͕̝̥̖̱ͣ̎̇a͍̮͌̌̇ͧ̃͒ͮb͇̖̼͖̪͋́͂̄̉ͅo̦͓̦̮ü̖̞̥͉̪̯͎̍̊̊̚͢ẗ̙̘̅̐ ̱̙̊ͅt͇ͭ̈o͛ͦ̍ͬ̚҉̝͈͓̙̳̖̺ ̼̰͚͂̔͒ͦ͂̚ṱ̫̦̗̞̰̩̐ͮr̮̤ͯy̯͇͇͓͉̓̌ͣ̔̆͐ͩ͟ ͈̺̠̏͒ͭͧt̜͙͎̪ͩ̽̽ͯ͂̒ȯ̟͔͕͔͍̠̦͗͡ ̜͚͔͉̒͑ͫ̔́s͓͕̤̈̍͒̔ͪͯi̱͇̳͖̱ġ̥̣̟͖̮͔͛ͧ̆̿̈́ͮ͡ͅn̞͊͌͠ ̺̥͎͕͇̣͍́uͤ̅ͯp͓͑͗̓ ̦̊̔̂ͤ̂͘w̟͉̼̗͇͔̏ͯḯ̸ͣ̌͑t̠̟̱̄͑̽̔̎h҉̦͎͕̜̣̗ ̸̼̩ͦͪ̄͆̊̎͂t̬̞̟̠͎ͨͅh̨̩͛̐̄̊̽͒e̶̹̽̓ͪ̿ ̖̰̘̙̯̂͜ͅǧ̞̮͂̊ͨ͒ͨ͝u͖̭̬̫̯͈̞̅̍ͪi̽̇͐̆̓̾ͩ͏̞̰͈̺̺l̺͔̥d͇̪͍͉̥̰̓̐͊ͯ͂ ̟̙w̧͍͇̜͓̔h̥̲̠̺͎̺̺̏̅̓̍e̾̎ͧ̑̃͐̌͏͎̰̯̝̼n͉̟̻ͦ̓͆ ͉̝̩ͥ̒̎̆͛̕t̻̩̳͟h̤͖̹̮̥̫̥ͩ̄͆ę̉̅ ͥͤD̗̹̟͔͓̈̾ͧr͖̄͛̆õ̶͚̙̗̣̜͊w̛̫̣̉ͥͪ̾ ̟͕͙͎̹̰̓̾̀͌͡m͕͈̘̽̇ͯ̈͌ͥ́ͅo͈ͩ͒ͪͨ̊ͧvͨ͊͋ͫͫ̾̏͢eͤ̇ͨ͝d̙̟̖̂̃͒ͮ̇ ̡̟͙͈̬̻͍̿̂ͩ̑̓̊t̵̠̹͖͚͓̔͗ͥ̉̐̄ͅo̹̖̳̮̗ͧ̀ ̩̯͎̓̇̓ͫ͊͘ȧ͕̭͜t͉͟tͭ͗̾͗̿͊̿a̪̩̬͖͕̅ͬ̈́̾͟ͅc͉̪̦̺̄ͮ̍ͭ͛͞ḱ̭̹̞̠ͅ.̞̭̙̻͍̯͒
ͭ͗́ͬÄ̺̳̟́͛ͯl͚͔͔̺͊̆̌ͩ͟ͅŝ̷͍͚͇͚̥̀̊ͨ̾̊o̽̿ͤ̈,̲̣́̉ͯ͛̒̒ ̭̺̳̭̪̰̓̂͋͜n̴͕͎͈̳̳̩͌ͦ̊ͮoͩ̽t̮̲͍̙͔̥̳ͪͧ̉͑ ͚̰̠͍͖̦̯̓͢p̩͆͐̄r̢̖͗i̤̬̱̞̘̪͂͛̈̇̈̊̚͠e̤̩̹͠s̢̅̌͒̿t̬͚͚̤͑,̝̺͂ͯ͊ͪ͞ ̭͖̗͔͚̺̋I͋̀ ̞̘͍̞̻͒͆̃̏ͬ̀̚ͅsͬ͐̓̋҉̭̖͈̖͎i̘̘̓m̙̝̗̟͍̰̓ͩͨ̉̈́͡p̞̥̠͎͓͙̬ͦ̎̀l̨͕̭̟̲̲̳̠̏ͤ̄͊̂̑y̬͍͉͇̖ ̮̮͂̓̓ͣ̈́ͨ̚̕d̹̺̏̈́͌̂̓́ẻ̖̠̩̟̩͇͉ͯ͐̆ͧ̋f̛̦̜̔̋ẻ҉n̵̫d͕̬̫̕e̪̗̲̲̋̄ͥ͛ͦ̑̚d̛̺̳͈͖̫ͦ̿̐ ̝̮͚̤͎͔ͤ͡t̛͔̘̜͔h͚̞͈͐̿̈̽͆̈́̚͘ͅe͗ͤ̓ͣ͋͐͐͏̦̯̣͖ ̗̟ͣ̄͌̌̐͢t̪̙̮̳̬͔̍͡ͅo̸ͪͦw̡̪̟̲͙̟͙̮͋n̶͙͇̝̳̹͐̀̊͗͋ ̗͍͚͍͆̾ͦ̑̄w̸̺̣̰̃ͣͯ͆̑ͩ̉ḭ̟̫̲̉̀̌̐̒͋ͥt̘͍͌͊̇ͦ̾̈ͮh͍͚̺̲̳͊ͥ͑ ̵̠̜̒̂̆͒ͬh̆̽̃ͬͩo̭ͯ̒̀l̛͇̫̩̥͒̓͗͗ȳͯ͋̿ͦ̾҉͎̫͚̦̭̭ ̵̻̹̮̬͎ͅp͇͑̽ͨo͖̟͈̺̜̦ͬͭw̸e̤͈͍̤̝͋ͮ̄ͬ́͢ř̺̣̯ͤ͢.̮͙̞̪͙͙̝͑̔̎͛ͣ̏̾͟ ͔̹̞͔̈͂ͯ̀͆N̶̻͈̮̓̏̆̊ó̈́ͯn̴̯̹͗ͬ̃̓ͧ́͋ẻ̵̳̹̻͎͒ͮ͆ ̸̞̱̋ͦͥ̾͊̚ȯ̐̏҉̺̪̪͇f̛̗̥̣͕͇̝ͭ̎ ̼̜͍̗͊̿̌̈̒̈́ͮt̸̋̉̇͛̊h͖̯̺͆ͩ́̀͂̏͝eͧ͛͋ͣ̒̇ ̷̠̯̀p̝r͇̝̳̲̘̈ͬͅe̼͕̥̜͍̟͚̅a͎̦̞̋̿́c̞̺ͤ̈́ͬͯͬ̚͞h̍́̍͋͊̊́ȉ͉͈̯̲́ͭ̒̌̓͟n͔̙ͫ̐̔̉g̷̣͌̈́ͬ̈̉̎̑ͅ ̪ͫ̔̌ͨ͐̒̑͜o͈̺͚̹̗̭̍̿r̖̚ ͖̹̞͖͍͉͚̎̍̂s͋ͯ̈̇͌̉p͙̱̻͍͎͈͈͂e̢͇̥̰͉͖͙̖ͭͧ̆ͯc̶̹i̲̺̫̤̘͕ͥ̓̆̇ͨͫ̄à̲͚̽ͦ͑ḻ͈̟̦̖̙̍͛͛ ̠̬͖̦͑͊̿̽ͮa̲͚ͪ͂̃̔ͦ͋̚g̋̂̈́̇̎ḙ̷̐̉̇ͮ̿̈́ͅň̰͎̼͎̬̫͂ͮ̂̂̐̀d̗̙̉ͭ̾̓͗a͎͚͓͎̳̳̓͛́s͈͖̼̝̞͔̼̀̏ͧ̀̋ͣͨ.͚͕́̈̊͞
Seriously, does he expect the Spider to be able to to talk his way into a religious position? This place is even weirder than I first thought.

bhu · « **Reply #659 on:** July 25, 2013, 06:41:22 PM »

"That's a relief at least. We may need to take those bodies your piling. Their Church will want them. however given that they assaulted you if you'd like to file charges I'll have my people made available."

he walks over and backhands the living priest

"HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE TO QUIT FUCKING UP MY CITY?"

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Author Topic: Campaign Thread VI: Hippos are cute until you realize they poop... (Read 198310 times)