Campaign Thread VI: Hippos are cute until you realize they poop...

[bhu]

It takes you moments to realize that you have spoken to a woman waaay to much into her work.  The conversation would be so dull as to inspire suicide were she the usual bureaucrat or functionary, but since she's talking about things like explosives and cursed hog semen you get plenty of information you can use (and prolly more than you can remember).  There's a lot of eye rolling from the other assassinettes,

Despite his typical inattentive tendencies, Mustave maintains interest, leaning forward, smiling most of the time.

"That's fascinating. And here I thought I was breaking new ground with acid. You know, being a jester and all, I've made pies before with acid mixed in to throw. I always thought the effect was rather clever and fitting, but in all honesty, it's a pain to carry around several dangerous pies. Acid vials that can be safely stowed away work much better for my use.

How long have you been in this line of work? Do you have a favorite method you like to use?"

There are mutters of "Omg don't encourage her you fool.."

[RobbyPants]

There are mutters of "Omg don't encourage her you fool.."

Mustave knows exactly what he is doing, and tries to fight a smile when the others start complaining. He tries to keep her going long enough to be a troll, but not so long as to actually have assassins want to kill him. Nearing the end of his conversation, he thanks her for her time.

"Thanks for all the info! I'm amazed by how much I have to learn. It's nice to see someone who enjoys their work so much. Best of luck to you!"

[bhu]

While Zach fends off questions of hauntedness, the first guy shows up.  It appears to be a scarred human barbarian with an eyepatch and furry armor.

"She's a scaly.  You din't say she was a scaly.  I'm out.  Fuck it."

He then beats feet as the Medusa cuts loose with the eye lasers.  Until now you didn't realize Medusa's had eye lasers...

[bhu]

"Honey we ain't gonna convince the other to come in if you keep shooting at them.  NEXT!"

A supple young elf boy in assless leather chaps enter.  "Hi.  I'm Puddytat."

"Oh for...do you even like women?"

"I don't turn them down if that's what you mean."

"How do you feel about kids?

"I prefer my partners more experienced."

"So utterly not what I meant.  The door is behind you."

"NEXT!"

A statuesque Lizard Woman enters.

"I uh..have a minor curse problem at the moment.  I'll lose the boobs soon as I find a decent Priest.  Really I swear."

[RobbyPants]

Mustave snickers, and probably stares at the curious reptile boobs longer than he should. He also casually works his way to the other side of a table, should eye-lazers start flying around again.

[bhu]

You are confronted by a short ghost with a lifted eyebrow carrying a tray of food. 

[RobbyPants]

"Oh, hi! I was just... oh, come on! That's weird even for this place!

So, how's everything going? Anyone saying anything useful? I learned about a thousand unique ways to kill a person and that medusae have eye-lasers!"

[bhu]

"Nah, that ain't weird.  I used ta know a halfling who had dicknipples."

"We're mostly learning the Assassin's Guild are a lonely bunch with some definite eccentricities."

[RobbyPants]

"Nah, that ain't weird.  I used ta know a halfling who had dicknipples."

"Pffff! Ha ha hahahaha!

*snort* Dicknipples."

"We're mostly learning the Assassin's Guild are a lonely bunch with some definite eccentricities."

"And they probably all have mommies that love them, too. Yeah, they're surprisingly easy to talk to. Okay, thanks for helping out tonight! Hopefully we all live through this and make some money on the side."

Beyond that, Mustave just keeps doing what he's been doing, waiting to see if anything else interesting happens. He occasionally snickers about dicknipples, even hours later.

[bhu]

Beyond that, Mustave just keeps doing what he's been doing, waiting to see if anything else interesting happens. He occasionally snickers about dicknipples, even hours later.

One of th assassins is quietly playing chess against the chicken collective unnoticed in a side room.

[RobbyPants]

He watches for a bit, more curious of the chickens than the assassin. Assuming nothing happens, he goes back to the main area to keep a watch out for trouble.

[bhu]

After a brief discussion the Lizard man is turned down and a shirtless Goblin with a huge pirate hat and eyepatch wanders in carrying a bottle of some alcoholic liquid.

"Ah'm General Boob Toucher! Ah'm the meanest, keenest, most hardcore sumbitch this side of them thar mountains below! Ah...holy shit yer a Medusa."

"You have a problem with Medusas?"

"Last time I dated one her snakes liked to bite me durin' coitus.  Killed tha mood.  Also, she was a bitch."

pew pew pew

[bhu]

Teo: "What are you anyway?"


Bartholomeow: "So what sort of caster are you?"

[radmelon]

"Imma frawgman. I punch things. I like to fish. That's about it. You?"

(click to show/hide)

Sorry for intermittant appearances, college is being college.

[bhu]

"Imma frawgman. I punch things. I like to fish. That's about it. You?"

(click to show/hide)

Sorry for intermittant appearances, college is being college.

"I kill people by bludgeoning them to death with rabid animals.  They call me the Shrewinator."

[bhu]

Someone is loudly accusing the chicken collective of being 'cheating bastards'

[RobbyPants]

Mustave walks over to see what's going on, hopefully before it escalates.

[bhu]

There is an old woman in black leather ranting at the chickens, who have their usual blank stare.

Apparently they won the chess game...

[RobbyPants]

There is an old woman in black leather ranting at the chickens, who have their usual blank stare.

Apparently they won the chess game...

Mustave grabs a drink off of one of the trays, quickly walks to the group, hands it to the woman, and tries to escort her out of the room.

"Don't feel bad. There was, like, ten of them against one of you. That's pretty long odds against anyone!

Have you tried the cheese puffs, yet? Those things are amazing!"

(click to show/hide)

I'm going with Bluff instead of Diplomacy, given that I assume she's stupid and lost an easy game. Bluff = 1d20 + 11

Rolled 1d20+11 : 17 + 11, total 28

[bhu]

There is an old woman in black leather ranting at the chickens, who have their usual blank stare.

Apparently they won the chess game...

Mustave grabs a drink off of one of the trays, quickly walks to the group, hands it to the woman, and tries to escort her out of the room.

"Don't feel bad. There was, like, ten of them against one of you. That's pretty long odds against anyone!

Have you tried the cheese puffs, yet? Those things are amazing!"

(click to show/hide)

I'm going with Bluff instead of Diplomacy, given that I assume she's stupid and lost an easy game. Bluff = 1d20 + 11

This dice roll has been tampered with!
Rolled 1d20+11 : 17 + 11, total 28

"Bullshit theres a couple dozen of them fluffy yellow bitches."