Perpetually UseLESS magic items

[Jackinthegreen]

Playing off the perpetually useful wondrous items thread, what items have you looked at and wondered what use it could possibly have?

Personally, I've always looked at Apparatus of the Crab and shaken my head at how expensive it is for such a weird benefit.

[littha]

There is a difference between Useless and too expensive for its use. Truly useless magic items are fairly rare but there are hordes of pointlessly expensive ones.

Expensive:
Mirror of Life Trapping, lets pay 200k for a crappy save or die
Elixir of Love- requires charm person and CL 4 to create. Generates a weaker charm person effect with a bad save DC and a 1d3 hour duration. 150gp well spent there...

[ariasderros]

Personally, I've always looked at Apparatus of the Crab and shaken my head at how expensive it is for such a weird benefit.

Personally, I've always looked at *the DMG / SRD* and shaken my head at how expensive it is for *their* benefit*s*.

There is a difference between Useless and too expensive for its use. Truly useless magic items are fairly rare but there are hordes of pointlessly expensive ones.

+1

[DonQuixote]

Apparatus of Kwalish and similar silly-but-prohibitively-expensive items are often things I'll give to the party without it counting against their wealth.  Because, honestly, if they want the Apparatus, I hardly see how it's going to tip the scales of an encounter in their favor.

Though they did once disembowel some Spanish Inquisitors with one.

[Cagemarrow]

An artificer with multiple homunculi to pull levers for him while he poses dramatically in the back and gives orders is hardly worthless. Treat it like voltron where each limb has to be controlled separately by each character/minion. With enough cost reducers it can be affordable, even if by that time you could have made even more impressive construct armor.

To get even more silly take some ranks in perform string instruments and have the artificer play a lyre of building while standing in the background yelling attack orders in song. Make use of the the secondary make items invulnerable effect for 30 minutes of the lyre.

[zook1shoe]

90% of the unique magic weapons

weapons of legacy as written