Ack! The DM uses fumble rules!

[snakeman830]

Well, I got an online group of players together for D&D.  The DM seemed to know a lot of the mechanics of the game pretty well when I talked to him.

Then, last night, we played a one-shot to help people get used to their characters and the software we are using.  That's when I discovered that the DM likes fumbles...

Apparently, a nat 1 with your bow causes the bowstring to break, requiring 5 minutes to re-string it.  A nat 1 on a melee weapon causes you to drop the weapon.  I have no idea for other attack rolls.

I've already talked to the DM and laid out my reasons (anti-fun, strains credibility, etc.), but he's stubborn on this, saying he either keeps fumbles or crits go too (which I also said was a bad idea, given the sheer volume of mechanics that are crit-based)

Now, my character is a Worldthought Medic (Complete Society Mind from Dreamscarred Press, it is 3.5), so I myself won't be making many attack rolls.  I can guarantee I will see these terrible rules the least of the party.  However, I need advice for how to help protect the rest of the party from the idiocy of this rule.

Currently we're level 2, so most of the options are not available yet, but any suggestions are most welcome.  The current party lineup is as follows:

2 elf rangers, both archery focused
1 human Druid
1 Silverbrow Human Worldthought Medic (myself, obviously)
1 Lesser Aasimar Warblade
1 Rogue (unknown race, possibly fox hengoyaki)
2 others (unknown at this time, but both believed to be mundanes)

Sources are basically anything 3.5, though 3.0 material is frowned upon (Arms & Equipment Guide seems to be okay for at least mundane items).

[Solo]

1) Encourage the Rangers to take feats that allow them to make as many attack rolls as possible.
2) Advise the Druid to wildshape and take multi-attack.
3) Suggest the TWF tree to the Rogue
4) Direct the Warblade towards the Tiger Claw school, which is for TWFing.
5) Get the remaining mundanes to play AoO based lockdown characters.
6)Chronicle the glorious undertakings of the party for future generations.
7) ???
8) Profit.

[FlaminCows]

I can guarantee I will see these terrible rules the least of the party.  However, I need advice for how to help protect the rest of the party from the idiocy of this rule.

Pretty hard to do, considering that attack rolls are a core mechanic of the game. One way would be to grant a whole lot of re-rolls through luck feats and spells, or everybody rerolls as a spellcaster, at which point attack rolls cease to matter.

Or do what Solo suggested, that works too. You either reduce the chance of rolling 1's, or eliminate attack rolls altogether, or make the DM have to deal with so many fumbles that he might just bang his own head against the wall.

[CaptRory]

Attack it from the equipment end. Locked gauntlets to prevent weapon droppage, or attach wires to let you recover them. I think there's a pathfinder simple weapon, spiked gauntlets or something, that lets you make unarmed attacks as if you were armed. Might be worth looking at and if it isn't anywhere in the 3.x books seeing if he'll allow it.

For feats, Quickdraw will let you replace a dropped or broken weapon real quick and Unarmed will let you sock bad guys with your fists without penalty. Maybe the DM will allow a custom feat for the archers that lets them restring bows with a quickness.

[Solo]

Unarmed will let you sock bad guys with your fists without penalty.

YOU SIMPLE FOOL!

Monks will trip over their own feet or fall prone as they throw badly aimed punches.

[linklord231]

Wait wait wait.  A melee dude can use a move action or Quickdraw to pick up/replace a dropped weapon, but archers need 50 FULL ROUND ACTIONS to re-string a bow?  D&D bows don't even need to be "strung" in the first place!  Not only is the DM basically saying "fuck you" to anybody foolish enough to rely on attack rolls, but a major fuck you to archers. 
I hope those 2 rangers have backup weapons. 

[veekie]

Granting lots of extra attacks seems to be the way to do this.

[CaptRory]

Wait wait wait.  A melee dude can use a move action or Quickdraw to pick up/replace a dropped weapon, but archers need 50 FULL ROUND ACTIONS to re-string a bow?  D&D bows don't even need to be "strung" in the first place!  Not only is the DM basically saying "fuck you" to anybody foolish enough to rely on attack rolls, but a major fuck you to archers. 
I hope those 2 rangers have backup weapons. 

Agreed. Gotta sit him down and talk about that bit.

"Why do your archers carry six backup bows?"
"You don't wanna know."

[Solo]

This means that my original suggestion was wrong and my suggestion should be to form a group dedicated to the use of archery.

[veekie]

This means that my original suggestion was wrong and my suggestion should be to form a group dedicated to the use of archery.

Bows, Rapid Shot, Haste~

[LordBlades]

Ask your DM to put his fumble rules to the warrior test: 10 NPC warriors attacking training dummies for 1 minute (10 rounds). See how many are still in fighting condition at the end.

[SolEiji]

Out of curiousity, I ran the test.
I lost 40% of my warriors within the minute.  And this is Invisible Castle.  All things considered, I think I rolled oddly well.

(click to show/hide)

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 1. (1d20+1=18, 1d20+1=6, 1d20+1=3, 1d20+1=10, 1d20+1=11, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=18, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=18, 1d20+1=7)

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 2. (1d20+1=15, 1d20+1=20, 1d20+1=2, 1d20+1=15, 1d20+1=4, 1d20+1=19, 1d20+1=10, 1d20+1=14, 1d20+1=12, 1d20+1=7) Out at round 3.

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 3. (1d20+1=3, 1d20+1=21, 1d20+1=14, 1d20+1=15, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=16, 1d20+1=9, 1d20+1=15, 1d20+1=9)

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 4. (1d20+1=19, 1d20+1=11, 1d20+1=11, 1d20+1=10, 1d20+1=9, 1d20+1=20, 1d20+1=20, 1d20+1=6, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=7)

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 5. (1d20+1=4, 1d20+1=17, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=3, 1d20+1=6, 1d20+1=4, 1d20+1=12, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=3, 1d20+1=11)

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 6. (1d20+1=12, 1d20+1=5, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=16, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=5, 1d20+1=11, 1d20+1=15, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=10)

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 7. (1d20+1=12, 1d20+1=2, 1d20+1=6, 1d20+1=15, 1d20+1=3, 1d20+1=18, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=11, 1d20+1=19) Out round 2.

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 8. (1d20+1=14, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=9, 1d20+1=3, 1d20+1=2, 1d20+1=18, 1d20+1=4, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=16, 1d20+1=9) Out round 5.

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 9. (1d20+1=9, 1d20+1=16, 1d20+1=11, 1d20+1=2, 1d20+1=20, 1d20+1=5, 1d20+1=9, 1d20+1=8, 1d20+1=9, 1d20+1=6) Out round 4.

Ten warriors, one minute, swords only, final destination. Warrior 10. (1d20+1=18, 1d20+1=19, 1d20+1=13, 1d20+1=14, 1d20+1=7, 1d20+1=17, 1d20+1=16, 1d20+1=10, 1d20+1=5, 1d20+1=9)

[snakeman830]

Somehow he's convinced that the more skilled a character gets, the more often they'll drop their weapon as they push their limits.  I tried to use reality to convince him how stupid this idea was, but to no avail.

However, everyone rolling archers should work   I'll go Arcane Archer so I can at least cast haste.  Nah, just kidding.

@SolEiji: you lost 40% of your warriors within 30 seconds...

[Unbeliever]

Yes, this is dumb.  And, it's also arbitrary.  A crit has a well-defined and well-known effect (double damage, possibly other stuff if you invest into it).  A fumble has "whatever the fuck I feel like it at the time."  Let me know whenever I can get a "whatever the fuck I feel like it at the time" mechanic without playing a high level spellcaster.

If you were committed to making the DM unhappy with this sort of rule, I'd do the opposite.  I'd make characters that practically never make attack rolls (i.e., spellcasters).  That way, the only people fumbling will be his enemies. 

[CaptRory]

Yes, this is dumb.  And, it's also arbitrary.  A crit has a well-defined and well-known effect (double damage, possibly other stuff if you invest into it).  A fumble has "whatever the fuck I feel like it at the time."  Let me know whenever I can get a "whatever the fuck I feel like it at the time" mechanic without playing a high level spellcaster.

If you were committed to making the DM unhappy with this sort of rule, I'd do the opposite.  I'd make characters that practically never make attack rolls (i.e., spellcasters).  That way, the only people fumbling will be his enemies.

Ooooh, that's good. Strangle him with his own rope.

[phaedrusxy]

Yes, this is dumb.  And, it's also arbitrary.  A crit has a well-defined and well-known effect (double damage, possibly other stuff if you invest into it).  A fumble has "whatever the fuck I feel like it at the time."  Let me know whenever I can get a "whatever the fuck I feel like it at the time" mechanic without playing a high level spellcaster.

If you were committed to making the DM unhappy with this sort of rule, I'd do the opposite.  I'd make characters that practically never make attack rolls (i.e., spellcasters).  That way, the only people fumbling will be his enemies.

+1

Any/All of your melee party guys should be fighting unarmed or with natural attacks exclusively.

[snakeman830]

I never said I wanted to make the DM unhappy, but I do want the rest of the group to have fun, which I'm questioning how the fumbles will impact.

[Solo]

Fun is in the eye of the beholder.

[Keldar]

Yes, but beholders would have way to high of ECL for this game.   

[phaedrusxy]

I never said I wanted to make the DM unhappy, but I do want the rest of the group to have fun, which I'm questioning how the fumbles will impact.

There isn't much of a way to minimize it, other than avoiding any attacks which would trigger it.

The two ranger/archer guys... are FUBAR... The best thing they can do is carry a backup bow, which while not a bad idea, gets expensive if they want to enchant it with much of anything.