As a tactically-minded individual, I find that I often want to punch my group's resident dumb character right in the face. When I say "Hang on a sec, let's buff you up before you kick in the door so we don't waste actions in combat," he says "LOL NOPE" and sunders the door. When I say "Don't charge the group of enemies, I'm going to drop a crowd control on them. Charge the guy lingering on his own instead," he says "LOL TOO LATE." When I point out that the enemy has no ranged attacks, so we could win this encounter by walking swiftly away, he says "CHAAARGE!" When he says "Cleric, heal me!" I say "Fuck that, you got yourself into this mess!" and the rest of the group glares at me for not being a team player.
Unfortunately, the player in question absolutely LOVES making low-Int, high-Wis characters. He calls it Wis-DUMB. I point out that having a high Wisdom should mean that he's capable of recognizing a dangerous situation and should take precautions to avoid dying. He laughs and ignores me.
Unfortunately-er, the rest of the group finds his antics hilarious, and eggs him on whenever possible.
*Twitch*This reminded me of a player I have. Good kid, but dumb as rocks sometimes. A little backstory... he's playing a sentient flaming dog thing and is just being introduced to the party as the new guy. Int 8, Wis 14. He's dumb, but he's not animal dumb or even incapable dumb, just redneck dumb, and he's pretty wise. Or he SHOULD be.
So, because his kind are normally dumb animals I introduce him to the party via having him be sold as "this amazing talking dog". As predicted, the party takes the bait and rescues him, intimidating the scuzzy seller away and getting him for free. So they move like 100 feet away to the place where they agreed to mean the Plot Hook NPC and feed him, befriending him and all since, understandably, this dog is not too keen on these two-leggers. After all, he was just a prisoner.
So the Plot Device comes and says "Good you're all here, and you have a dog! Good! This is a tracking mission. Your boat to the next stage is ready. We leave immediately." What do you do?
The Team: We get on the boat.
The Dog: I fall asleep.
Wait. What? He wants to go to sleep for no particular reason. Right here. In the middle of the road. In the city. The same city which just moments ago was imprisoning him, the same city whose enslaver is but a few hundred feet away. Nevermind the fact that he's choosing to sleep of all things and not go with the party he JUST befriended, but here? I try hard to convince him it's a bad idea, but his reasoning?
"I'm an animal. Clearly these people fed me, so this place must be safe, otherwise why would they feed me? Herp derp. Don't worry, I can catch up with them."
He doesn't know where they're going or how long this will take. He doesn't know how far. And I stress, they're going via
BOAT. Mr. I-Have-Scent-But-No-Track is gonna track a BOAT over an unspecified amount of marshland filled with disease and crocodiles alone to catch up with the party hours later, when they might be done. And after all, he doesn't care cause the party is looking for a key and he doesn't even know what a key is.
And he's really on this. Apparently there's no way with that juicy Wis 14 would he EVER consider to ask "hey, what's that key thing the nice people who saved me are looking for" or "why can't I sleep here" or "HEY MAYBE ITS A BAD IDEA TO THINK YOU'RE SAFE FROM HUMANS IN A HUMAN CITY". Clearly he was captured by his captors saying there's food inside this bag if you climb in it. Argh!
It gets better. Eventually the NPC basically tells him "get on the boat or your ass is grass here" and I can move on. "So, the boat travels and you reach the swamp temple of doooom."
"I'm not on the boat."
What.
"Nobody picked him up, so since no one brought him aboard he's not on the bo-" *TABLE FLIP* "I'm on the boat."
It... gets... better....
So, this dog is supposedly the alpha predator in his homeland. The harsh, nuclear flatlands in the north. Nevermind that he can't be, there's some seriously bad shit up there, but ok, master predator, doom of the north, whatever. So they reach this temple, signs of a slaughter, and crocodiles nibbling on the dead. The crocs are mostly background fluff/environmental hazard because at their level, a croc or two is no threat. So the party fords, or flies, over the disease ridden river to the other side. And the dog?
"I blow up all the crocs with my pew pew fire breath, then run and jump across the river."
He's not even eating these crocs. Just decided to blow them up for no reason. They were ignoring him. Boy does not understand how animals survive... either by being big and scary or by being unnoticed, and by not wasting energy or making noise. Argh, whatever... he makes it to the other side after a scuffle with the Big King Croc and they meet the one other new player. And other insane things happy, such as how he immediately earns the new person's animosity by threatening to kill her.
And the most infuriating thing is that I've played a build so very similar to this, and so, SO much better. Wan was this giant werewolf-like creature with even lower Int (5) and some high wisdom (14) who was convinced he was a normal dog, ablit a talking giant dog. He had a very simple mindset, but he wasn't stupid. He might have had bad math-smarts, but if he saw something he could figure things out from what he saw. And frankly that wisdom sometimes made him seem smarter than some of the other players at time with vastly superior intelligence.
*Twitch* It appears I snapped there for a moment. Hmm, whose blood is this on my hands. Excuse me, I have to call my lawyer.