Tips for the First Date?

[ariasderros]

At least, now, you can heal up extra to be ready.

Eh, look at it this way, this would, ideally, be your third girlfriend. Actually going out will be the third attempt.
Third times the charm?

[Solo]

Elementary Dating

[SneeR]

So, it happened. First time I've ever asked a girl out, and I think it went fairly swimmingly! I accidentally mixed up the movie time, but she was very pleasant about it, and it gave us over 3 hours to just chat, which we easily did! We seem to click, and she even intoned that she usually can't find people who get her like I do while still having diverging opinions that make her think! Good sign, right?

We didn't go on a walk on the beach, but when I said that I had planned on that, she said it sounds very nice, and that she definitely wants to see me again.

[Arturick]

*good stuff*

Good for you.   

[Elevevated Beat]

So, it happened. First time I've ever asked a girl out, and I think it went fairly swimmingly! I accidentally mixed up the movie time, but she was very pleasant about it, and it gave us over 3 hours to just chat, which we easily did! We seem to click, and she even intoned that she usually can't find people who get her like I do while still having diverging opinions that make her think! Good sign, right?

We didn't go on a walk on the beach, but when I said that I had planned on that, she said it sounds very nice, and that she definitely wants to see me again.

Awesome. Congratulations ^.^

[SneeR]

I invited her to a date to walk along the beach, and it felt sort of awkward over the phone. Is that normal?
She was happy to accept, but...

[ariasderros]

I invited her to a date to walk along the beach, and it felt sort of awkward over the phone. Is that normal?
She was happy to accept, but...

80% chance you're just nervous and imagining it. 15% chance she was uncertain for 'mundane' reason, such as worried about her schedule (as that has already been a problem). 5% chance of actually having any reason what-so-ever of that "but..." be validated.

That said, my advice is not liable for 1's being rolled (5% chance).

[solara]

I invited her to a date to walk along the beach, and it felt sort of awkward over the phone. Is that normal?
She was happy to accept, but...

I've had awkward moments on the phone with my SO of 5+ years, my mom, my dad, and my closest friends. These are all people I know really well and, in the case of my mom and SO, I can talk to happily for hours on end. Awkward moments happen, especially on the phone. Take her at her word and go for a walk on the beach. But, for the love of love, don't try and walk miles - wander at whatever pace she seems content to set and stop to look at stuff. If you're still nervous, remember to ask her questions about herself. It'll let you know about her and, of course, most people prefer talking about themselves to hearing about other people (in general, I'm weird in that I like to listen, but it's also fun to talk every once in a while).

[SneeR]

She is so hard to get ahold of! I need to contact her to make some last minute confirmations on the date tomorrow or Friday, but I don't want to be weird and call her constantly like some creeper. She hasn't been replying, though! Urgh!
Called her twice and sent her a message on the Internet over three days. I'm done now. If she wants to contact me, she can, I suppose.

[Elevevated Beat]

She is so hard to get ahold of! I need to contact her to make some last minute confirmations on the date tomorrow or Friday, but I don't want to be weird and call her constantly like some creeper. She hasn't been replying, though! Urgh!
Called her twice and sent her a message on the Internet over three days. I'm done now. If she wants to contact me, she can, I suppose.

Ugh. People shit me when you need to consistently chase after them. Chin up. While it may look bad, it could also very well be that she's one of those people.

Oh, and I'm horrible on the phone with some people (partner/family) but really good with others (random person I met on a cruise)

[SneeR]

It turns out she just has phone anxiety. She responded to my text message.
Second date on Friday! Wahoo!

Now let's hope I don't mess everything up! 

[nijineko]

i hope it goes well.

my experiences are so atypical to almost everything else that i've ever heard, that i hesitate to share anything in the guise of advise.



i guess i'll just say these things:

there is a natural desire to put one's best foot forward. on the other hand, one should also just be them self... lest the other party at some future point feel deceived.

the best solution to this dichotomy is to BE your "best foot" at all times.

all too often, so much time is spent in looking for mr/ms right, that when you find them, it turns out that you yourself are not their mr/ms right.



...yeah, i'll leave it at that.

[SneeR]

I'm actually not concerned with impressing her. I dress very nicely and am naturally a gentleman with humor. If she is impressed by my natural state, I'll know we are a good match.

I am more worried about the inverse: I don't want to creep her out! All of my relationships so far have basically gone from Date#1-->Move in Together. It's hard to know when I am being too much without saying, "Am I being a bit much?" I don't want to come off as a creeper by crowding her, but I don't want to seem distant by never contacting her, either!

[sirpercival]

I'm actually not concerned with impressing her. I dress very nicely and am naturally a gentleman with humor. If she is impressed by my natural state, I'll know we are a good match.

I am more worried about the inverse: I don't want to creep her out! All of my relationships so far have basically gone from Date#1-->Move in Together. It's hard to know when I am being too much without saying, "Am I being a bit much?" I don't want to come off as a creeper by crowding her, but I don't want to seem distant by never contacting her, either!

Just be yourself.  Trying to worry about stuff like that will (a) make you unnecessarily nervous and self-conscious, and (b) come as a surprise to her later on, which is even worse for a relationship.  She should be aware that you're intense if she likes you and wants to continue the relationship.

[Nanshork]

I'm actually not concerned with impressing her. I dress very nicely and am naturally a gentleman with humor. If she is impressed by my natural state, I'll know we are a good match.

I am more worried about the inverse: I don't want to creep her out! All of my relationships so far have basically gone from Date#1-->Move in Together. It's hard to know when I am being too much without saying, "Am I being a bit much?" I don't want to come off as a creeper by crowding her, but I don't want to seem distant by never contacting her, either!

If it helps any I've asked the me version of this.  I've also asked women if the date we were on was actually a date for that matter.  If she's really compatible with you it won't weird her out as much as you're afraid it will.

[ariasderros]

I'm sorry, I can't help but to think of this.

In my experience, if you wait a bit, then ask the question, there is a right answer for her to give.
Because if she says "not really", then it usually means "a little".
But if she thinks the question is a little cute, whether it's cute that you ask, or it's 'cute' that you think that, then you're GTG.