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THE DRUNKEN BASTARD 
“Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.” Chaos Monks try to get as close to Chaos as they can, and for some this means experimenting with drugs or alcohol in an attempt to lose self control and become one with the object of their desire. Some may actually make it, and gain an altered mental state. Many just end up obnoxious drunks (or dead from alcohol poisoning).
BECOMING A DRUNKEN BASTARD Most Chaos Monks who follow this path do so because they like to drink, and want an excuse to do so quite frankly. Some few are serious about it, and generally a few levels in Chaos Monk is all it really takes to become a Drunken Bastard.
ENTRY REQUIREMENTS Skills: Craft (Brewing) 8 ranks
Feats: Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Unarmed Strike (or the Chaos Monks Unarmed Strike Ability
Class Abilities: Disturbed Mind, Body in Flux
Special: Must know at least 1 other Drunken Bastard and spent a night with him vomiting from alcohol poisoning, being incarcerated, and generally doing stupid things like mooning the local Beholder critters. And not die. Did we mention you have to not die?
Alignment: Can't be Lawful or Good
Class Skills The Drunken Bastard's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Gather Information (Cha), Hide (Dex), Knowledge (Arcane, Local)(Int), Intimidate (Cha), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), and Use Magic Device (Cha)
Skills Points at Each Level : 4 + int
Hit Dice: d8
BAB Fort Ref Will Abilities
1. +0 +2 +2 +0 Exhalation of Fury, Monk Abilities
2. +1 +3 +3 +0 Comfortably Numb
3. +2 +3 +3 +1 Drunken Rage
4. +3 +4 +4 +1 Exhalation of Fury
5. +3 +4 +4 +1 Comfortably Numb
6. +4 +5 +5 +2 Drunken Rage
7. +5 +5 +5 +2 Exhalation of Fury
8. +6 +6 +6 +2 Comfortably Numb
9. +6 +6 +6 +3 Drunken Rage
10.+7 +7 +7 +3 Ascension
Weapon Proficiencies: Drunken Bastards gain no new weapon or armor proficiencies.
Monk Abilities: Your Drunken Bastard levels stack with your Chaos Monk levels for purposes of determining your Unarmored Bonus to AC, and your Unarmed Strike Damage.
Exhalation of Fury (Su): Your belches are possibly toxic due to the way alcohol interacts with your mutated innards. If you have consumed 1 drink of 40+ proof alcohol (or multiple drinks of lower proof alcohol) within the last hour you may unleash a belch of the damned as a Standard Action. This is a 10' Cone, and anyone in it must make a Fortitude Save (Save DC is 10 plus half Hit Dice plus Constitution Modifier) or be poisoned (Inhaled, Initial and Secondary damage is 1d6 Strength).
At 4th level if your opponent fails the Save he is also Dazed 1 round.
At 7th level he is Dazed 1 round whether he fails the Save or not, and is Stunned instead if he fails the saving throw.
Comfortably Numb (Su): When intoxicated, you are nearly immune to pain. At 2nd level any time you take non lethal damage you may ignore the first 3 points from each attack/effect. This increases to 5 points at level 5, and 8 points at level 8.
Drunken Rage (Su): You are a mean drunk, prone to outbursts of anger. But your anger seems to have beneficial effects for you. If you have consumed 1 drink of 40+ proof alcohol (or multiple drinks of lower proof alcohol) within the last hour you may must make a DC 20 Willpower check if you are insulted (or believe you are), attacked, or in any way become angry. If you fail (you may fail this saving throw willingly) you go into a Drunken Rage for 3 rounds plus 1 round per point of Constitution Modifier. You are limited in your actions similar to the Barbarian Rage ability (see PHB pg 25) but the bonuses are different. At 3rd level you do +1d6 damage with all melee attacks. This increases to +2d6 at level 6, and +3d6 at level 9. You also have a -2 penalty to Armor Class during Drunken Rage. If you run out of enemies before the rage ends you will smash whatever is near until it does, and attack anyone who restrains you, including allies (however you will not initiate attacks against them). Once this Rage wears off you must wait 1 hour and get drunk once more to use it again.
Ascension (Su): You have become something more than human, and your Type changes to Outsider with the Native Subtype. You are now immune to Mind Affecting effects and Ability Drain or Damage that attacks your Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma.
PLAYING A DRUNKEN BASTARD Your an asshole. A loud, obnoxious, spitting drunk. At least you are once you've had a few in you. And you do a lot of things you regret later. Like sleeping with that ogre chick. Or calling Orcus a "puss". Few people want to be around you, but friends will admit you are astonishingly capable in a fight if your tipsy. The sight of them yelling at you to hurry up and chug your sake does tend to confuse opponents anyway...
Combat: Drunken Bastards try to avoid fighting unless they are inebriated, at which point they usually actively seek combat out. Considering many of their class abilities are alcohol based this makes sense. No point getting into fights sober when you're so much better after 6 whiskey sours.
Advancement: Most Drunken Bastards go down one of two paths: They either lose their way and become little more than a drunk, or they find the altered mental state they're looking for and ascend to something more than what they were.
Resources: Drunken Bastards spend the majority of their money on alcohol and recreational pharmaceuticals. They're usually dirt poor unless they also go stealing at night.
DRUNKEN BASTARDS IN THE WORLD “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid” Drunken Bastards hope to find an altered mental state, a heightened sense of reality. Most find themselves waking up in the street in their own vomit. Theirs is a hard life, and their death rate is higher than most Chaos Monks. The only good thing is that their chosen vocations generally make people believe they're just a hoodlum as opposed to a semi-religious mutate seeking a higher power. This doesn't make them any more popular though. Some people tolerate drunks well, other much less so. And the Law the Chaos Monks oppose definitely doesn't tolerate them well. Hence they are well acquainted with jails of all sorts.
Daily Life: Most Drunken Bastards spend their time getting drunk, plotting to get drunk, or spend their hours wishing they were drunk. If they have a brewery of some sort they spend a lot of time perfecting their art, but their free time is spent enjoying the fruits of their labor.
Notables: Feng Feng (CN Male Human Chaos Monk 6/Drunken Bastard 6) is a local lout who owns a tattoo parlor, and gets into bar fights. Or at least that's what everyone believes. Zhoma Zhenting (CE Female Human Chaos Monk 6/Drunken Bastard 6) is a violent, bloodthirsty spitfire who likes to get drunk and murder the men who try to pick her up in bars. Preferably in a disturbing manner.
Organizations: The closest the Drunken Bastards have to an organization is if they are brewers of some sort (in which case they are likely members of a guild or monastery), or they manufacture illicit drugs. Basically they're openly criminal, or they make booze. Which they usually don't profit from as they drink as much of it as they sell.
NPC Reaction Most NPC's react to you with open disdain and revulsion. After all you do likely appear to be a filthy disheveled drunk or a junkie. However those who have attended parties with you know you're a total wildman, and something interesting always happens when you are around. Interesting in the Chinese sense, not in the good sense. After all there was that time you grabbed the Red Dragon from behind and yelled "SURPRISE BUTTSECKS". Yeah that didn't turn out well. But everyone admits it was definitely 'memorable'.
DRUNKEN BASTARDS IN THE GAME This class can be hell on a DM if played by a Chaotic Stupid player. Make sure the person playing it doesn't intend to use it to just cause trouble.
Adaptation: This is mostly meant for a not quite serious campaign, but it could be done in a serious one as well. Assuming the party can tolerate a severe alcoholic.
Encounters: PC's will tend to encounter Drunken Bastards at brewery's, winery's, and bars all across the land. And jail cells. Almost all of them end up in jail once a week or so.
Sample Encounter EL 12: The PC's are at a bar unwinding after an expedition has gone bad. In the corner some girl with about a thousand tattoos apparently kills a man with a loud belch. They get the feeling they may have picked the wrong bar...
Zhoma ZhentingCE Female Human Chaos Monk 6/Drunken Bastard 6
Init +2,
Senses: Listen +2, Spot +6
Languages Common
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AC 27, touch 21, flat-footed 24 (+3 Dex, +4 Wis, +4 Deflection, +6 Armor)
AC Raging 25, touch 19, flat-footed 22 (-2 Rage, +3 Dex, +4 Wis, +4 Deflection, +6 Armor)
hp 114 (12 HD)
Fort +11,
Ref +12,
Will +9
Disturbed Mind
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Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Melee Unarmed Strike +8/+3 (2d6) or +1 Collision Club +9/+4 (1d6+6)
Melee Raging Unarmed Strike +8/+3 (4d6) or +1 Collision Club +9/+4 (3d6+6)
Base Atk +8,
Grp +8
Atk Options Chaos Strike (Magic), Exhalation of Fury, Drunken Rage
Combat Gear 2 Potions of Cure Serious Wounds
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Abilities Str 10, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 8, Wis 15, Cha 16
SQ Unarmed Damage, Unarmored AC Bonus, Body in Flux (+3), Comfortably Numb
Feats Chaos Hammer, Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Sunder, Power Attack, Stunning Fist, Burrowing Touch (B), Fists of Confusion (B), Kung Fu Mystic (B), Shocking Blow (B)
Skills Bluff +7, Climb +5, Concentration +5, Craft (Brewing) +7, Hide +6, Intimidate +7, Jump +5, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +3, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Sense Motive +6, Use Magic Device +8
Possessions +4 Ring of Protection, +6 Bracers of Armor, +1 Collision Club, Bottle of Fine Wine, 2 Potions of Cure Serious Wounds, 190 GP
EPIC DRUNKEN BASTARD Hit Die: d8
Skills Points at Each Level : 4 + int
Drunken Rage The Drunken Bastards damage when using his Drunken Rage Ability increases by +1d6 at level 23 and every 3 levels thereafter.
Comfortably Numb You are immune to non lethal damage as long as it isn't magical in nature at level 22.
Bonus Feats: The Epic Drunken Bastard gains a Bonus Feat every 4 levels higher than 20th
