Elven "freaks" in my homebrew setting

[ImperatorK]

First a bit of essential info for discussing this topic:
In my homebrew setting I've refluffed elves to be Neutral (instead of Chaotic) (Good) and both physically and psychically androgynous. They're not hermaphrodites or anything like that, it's just that elven males and females are very hard to pinpoint as a particular gender by non-elves, because their average heights and weights are the same and their body types, faces and voices (as well as personalities) are in-between that of typically male and female.
Elven society is very gender equal and their fashion is gender neutral (it's more about personal preference, practicality or position in the society rather than gender). All elves are attractive in appearance and although they can quite easily distinguish each other's genders they still look very much the same. Because of that elves base attractiveness on skills, abilities and/or personality of an individual. They still don't like ugliness, but don't have any particular feelings towards masculinity or femininity.
Elves that can trace any half-elves in their ancestry (no matter from how many generations ago), can (although very rarely) develop particularly feminine or masculine personalities or physical traits. For example a man might be larger than average or behave more macho. A woman might have bigger breasts or rounder hips than average or be more sensitive.
Also, a bit more common than the above, elves that live or have a lot of contact over a long time with other races might unwittingly pick up some of their personality quirks.

That finally brings us to the point of this topic:
I dunno how to treat those "out of the norm" elves in elven society. Should they be considered "freaks" or "exotic" for being different? Or maybe there's a third option?
There are two angles to this discussion - Personality and Appearance.
The later is pretty straightforward - the elf looks different.
The former is more problematic - all elves have more-or-less equal amounts of masculinity and femininity in them, so I'm not sure how their society would react to individuals who have more of one or the other. What I know is that it would most probably influence that individual's preferences and interests.

[Amechra]

If they don't give any weight to masculinity or femininity in the first place, why would they care?

Quite frankly, if they already judge by merit, what would make them stop in this case?

[phaedrusxy]

They might think of those elves as "unbalanced", and perhaps feel a bit of pity for them, but that's probably about it.

[ImperatorK]

If they don't give any weight to masculinity or femininity in the first place, why would they care?

Quite frankly, if they already judge by merit, what would make them stop in this case?

Because no one is perfect and being different will always evoke some kind of reaction, positive or negative. This discussion is about which and how, not "should I?".

[ketaro]

Because no one is perfect and being different will always evoke some kind of reaction, positive or negative. This discussion is about which and how, not "should I?".

There is no "which" to pick. I mean, what I bolded in the quote is you pretty much answering your own question with the implication that there are a nigh infinite amount of ways your elves can react to these 'abnormal' kind of elves. The specific reaction would depend on each individual elf. Would make things more interesting, but probably a bit more work.

But if you don't want to deal with coming up with a different opinion each time an 'abnormal' elf interacts with a normal elf.....
If this quirk is something fairly uncommon or even rare, it may be viewed in general as those 'abnormal' elves being handicapped and evoking pity more often than not.
If its rather common it could maybe be seen as unsightly or even as a disease polluting the purity of the elven race.

*shrugs*

[ImperatorK]

There is no "which" to pick.

Except there is.

I dunno how to treat those "out of the norm" elves in elven society.

As I said, it's very rare if it's by nature, slightly less rare if it's by nurture.
In what way could it be seen as a handicap? If it's just personality, then I guess it could be seen as limiting interests or being too single-minded or too stubborn.

[ketaro]

As I said, it's very rare if it's by nature, slightly less rare if it's by nurture.
In what way could it be seen as a handicap? If it's just personality, then I guess it could be seen as limiting interests or being too single-minded or too stubborn.

Like a physical or mental impairment. It might not be in actuality but normal elves may just as well view it as such.

[SolEiji]

Might I compare it to another "abnormality" in culture, perhaps how one views nerds.  Or gay people.  Or the like.

The matter here is, what severity is the aberration from the norm and how much do the elves deal with tolerance?  If these are 1950s American elves, they'll probably be less accepting of abnormality than your average person today.

Assuming they are "modern day" sorts, I imagine these unusual elves are generally accepted, with the older generations having mild disdain they don't vocalize lest they be seen as out with it, and pockets of "Westboro Church" types who denounce these gender-choosing menaces as breaking down traditional conservative elflandia.  Etc etc.