So on another thread we got onto the topic of psychological meds. While some may find it weird that so many here have admitted to being on them, it shouldn't be seen as that odd. Gaming is actually one of the few therapies that is being found to be effective in cases of more complex disorders, including some with no established treatment regimen (looking at you PTSD). It yields more beneficial long term results, and I'm not talking about "therapeutic" gaming (not even sure how that would look), but just gaming as gaming.
There's a huge stigma against certain psychological medications, which is odd, since using medications to up your grades also falls into psychological meds. It seems that the only real stigma is for those who need meds to cope with day to day activities.
I've admitted I have PTSD, it's a long story involving lots of unexpected unexplained violence, gaslighting, and a full royal flush of "misery poker" on a regular basis (had to steal it).
I hate the stigma that exists, but I'm aware that it does have it's good parts, unfortunately what benefit might be there (keeping people from getting themselves medicated for a personal benefit rather than to help with an issue), is already out there. With people downing Adderall before exams like candy, it serves no more purpose, so it really should be wiped out.
To begin; we are talking about being *properly* medicated. This involves finding a medication that does not make you slow, hyper, moody, aggressive, or really any way that you're not normally. You shouldn't feel strange. You should feel, for all intents and purposes, more "normal" than usual. If it makes you feel weird, it's either the wrong dose or the wrong medication. Possibly even the wrong doctor. Succinctly: if it's fucking you up worse, you need to swap.
Next up, medication is not meant to be taken on it's own. Medication is the cast, not the crutch. Therapy and support groups are your crutch. They'll help you walk while the medication gives you enough stability to take in a new set of thoughts, responses and reflections.
And finally, medication, in most cases, is not meant to be long term. Often you're only meant to be on it for a few months at best. Some people are on longer. I probably will be, and possibly because I resisted it so long.
I've had PTSD for my entire life. I refused treatment until well after high school (due to some intimidation and psychological conditioning), unless you count the doctor who diagnosed me with multiple ulcers at sixteen and a mild anti anxiety drug that I took for about three months and then stopped (he explained it as part of the ulcer treatment, which was the only way I would have accepted it at the time).
I finally sought out help when my negative emotions were getting far out of hand. I was a mess, my anxiety was so bad over my assignments that I would shake just thinking about them, I would get upset at the mildest rebuke from a professor, which I would hold in until I got home and melted down. My hyper vigilance was picking my marriage apart as I recognized and typified facial cues, analyzed language uses, and observed and recorded body language around me, looking to find threats. My therapist at the time tried to convince me to try medication and gave me the diagnosis of PTSD after some months of regular visits. I refused.
I have tried cognitive behaviour therapy, which didn't work, because that's how I modified my aggressive behaviours already. I tried art therapy, but I'm an artistic sort already. I tried exercise, music therapy, but all of those I had, unknowingly, already been using to cope.
The thing is, PTSD is a time bomb. It gets in your head and you never know what the timer's set to. You don't know what will set it off or to what degree. I was on my last stretch and didn't know it. My therapist may have, but I didn't want to be medicated. I didn't want to be weak or dependent.
I spent two years with that therapist, and in some ways she was great, but in others, not a good fit. I never wanted to upset her, and to be honest, she was more prepared for couples counselling and exam stress, not the mixed bag that I dumped on her lap. I had to call her panicked on night when my father ended up in the ICU. I was a mess, crying and ranting and almost incoherent because I was worried my family would have a huge screaming argument in the coronary department of the ICU and inadvertently kill someone by causing an attack. I felt bad that I even had to call her, but I needed someone to tell me how to handle it, and my husband wasn't sure what to do with me or how to handle my freaking out.
Eventually I stopped seeing her because she admitted that she couldn't do anything more. I was telling her that everything was fine, and I thought it was, because compared to that, it was. I couldn't even tell that I was lying.
About a year later I had to go back. I was a danger to myself, I knew it and I had to see someone immediately. I got sent to a woman I knew from before. A very poor choice, as she had been the one to tell me that if I couldn't take the stress, I should just quit. She, during this new interview, didn't want to talk about what had happened, only would refer to my scholastic state (which is great, BTW), and I overheard her muttering to herself that it wasn't her fault one of the prior students had killed themselves, she claimed no responsibility. I saw her one time after that. As per rule, I had to fill out a survey concerning her at my next appointment a few days later. She them, at the appointment, proceeded to read the "anonymous" survey in front of me and tell me that she didn't want me in her office. Did not help.
So, my husband wheedled until I finally caved and went to see my doctor. His reasoning was that, due to my stature (always small and a bit behind the curve on physical maturation) it might be a thyroid issue. It took three appointments and a very very bad episode for me to finally agree to try meds and a new therapist, one who was more suited to what I needed.
I'm lucky that I haven't had any side effects, but I think people need to understand that sometimes, there is nothing else left. I highly advocate trying *anything* else first, but if nothing else works bite the bullet and give it a try.
If you're at those "last few stretches" you don't have anything else to lose (since you may be trying to throw it all away as it is). I was lucky, my spouse stayed by me for all of this, and I've found something that (I think) works. Yes, I'm scared to go off it, but at the same time, I'm eager to start tapering.
Now why is this in bitch like you have to?
Bad doctors. Bad prescriptions. Stigmas. I hates them all. With a passion.
And we were getting off topic so I figured this might be a place for people to vent about doctors/meds/ and the trouble that comes with having such issues. Gaming is great therapy, but so is a nice long vociferous and vituperative rant.
Rant on, my fellow forumites.
