The Liquid Pain Hospital

[vinom]

I've recently been asked the question, what the lowest level someone could build a liquid pain hospital. For a jumping off point, let's assume there is one PC who wants to establish this hospital, and wants it to be able to be run by a small group of Experts. The obvious class choice for the PC is Artificer, as they have the best ability to craft the magic items needed to make the hospital function.

So the question before the board is what magic items would be necessary to run a Liquid Pain Hospital, and we'll extract backward a level requirement.

An ability to cast Liquid Pain (BoVD p98) is a obvious must.

[caelic]

It seems like magical traps would be a better bet than magic items, given that you're dealing with a more-or-less stationary emplacement.

[sirpercival]

Rune circles?  Those might work well.

[vinom]

Agreed, magic traps that are all triggered from a control room of some sort would by useful... I'm guess the real question is what spells would I need an infinite supply of to under cut the LG clerics as town healers?

Remove Disease?
Lesser Restoration?

[Wrex]

Agreed, magic traps that are all triggered from a control room of some sort would by useful... I'm guess the real question is what spells would I need an infinite supply of to under cut the LG clerics as town healers?

Remove Disease?
Lesser Restoration?

And some cure spells to patch up minor injuries. Don't forget that with the Nipple Clamps that turn pain into pleasure, you can also get Ambrosia (I think. There is definitly a good counterpart to Liquid Pain)

[vinom]

This is going to be done in stealth. The hospital will be the head quarters of an 'obscure religion' and none of the patients know they're being harvested, so a nipple clamp might be conspicuous.

[Lycanthromancer]

Apparently nipple rings still count as rings, so whenever you monitor someone's health (or use your diagnosis machines with Detect Disease and whatnot), have them slip over the person's finger(s) as actual rings.

[vinom]

And their pain suddenly becoming pleasure is then a subtle effect... I think not.

A dose of Agony is worth 200 gp or 3 xp for the sake of crafting, that's good enough for me.

[linklord231]

Why would you not want your pain to turn into pleasure? 
Think of it as giving them a stupidly strong pain killer, like morphine or something.  Except there's no chance for addiction.  And even the Good-aligned people wouldn't be able to object.

[Wrex]

Why would you not want your pain to turn into pleasure? 
Think of it as giving them a stupidly strong pain killer, like morphine or something.  Except there's no chance for addiction.  And even the Good-aligned people wouldn't be able to object.

To be fair, actual morphine is only about 1gp per dose.

[vinom]

Liquid pain is 1 xp per dose more potent than ambrosia... honestly I don't care for patient comfort that much.

Besides, this is about early set up so I'm not creating that many expensive, useless, counter productive magic items.

[Wrex]

If you can get a sample of T-Virus Ghoul Fever, you can kill two birds with one stone, and build the army of darkness while extracting liquid pain.

[vinom]

No no no, this is a front for my artificer aquatic kobold Vampire, it needs to be on the up and up. Evil horrid actions will happen elsewhere and be completely unaffiliated with this hospital/cult.

That being said, how does one acquire and store a sample of a disease in DnD?

[Wrex]

Probably by taking some quantity of the infectious agent and keeping it somewhere safe. Lycanthrope saliva should still carry lycanthropy, if you can convince them to spit in a phial. A quantity of blinding sickness infected water could be used to taint other water supplies. A blade coated in Ghoul blood should induce ghoul fever, etc. I would use similar rules for poisons.

[vinom]

So besides Lesser Vigor, Remove Disease and Lesser Restoration, is there anything I need to corner the market on magical healing, or to put it another way, what won't those three heal?

[Wrex]

A well trained 1st level commoner can treat any disease or poison in the PHB with the heal skill, if built properly, so he could undercut you. Also, grab some Remove Blindness/Deafness.

[vinom]

Under cut how, it's a free hospital that asks for donations when you leave. It also distributes food to those who can not provide for themselves.

Current spell list:
Liquid Pain
Remove Disease
Remove Blindness/Deafness
Lesser Restoration
Lesser Vigor
Create Food

[Wrex]

Under cut how, it's a free hospital that asks for donations when you leave. It also distributes food to those who can not provide for themselves.

Current spell list:
Liquid Pain
Remove Disease
Remove Blindness/Deafness
Lesser Restoration
Lesser Vigor
Create Food

All he needs is a heal check. Some of those spells have material components (AFAIK). Also, where are you getting these spells? Providing them yourself? Other people don;t work for free, you know.


On the plus side, silly abusive high heal checks take some time to work, so there is always more time to extract liquid pain.

[vinom]

An artificer will be putting all these spells onto a complex magical trap.

The hospital will be staffed by Experts who have had their minds rewritten into thinking they're part of an odd sect that has it's magical powers go to the place of worship rather than any particular worshiper.

[awaken_D_M_golem]

Apparently nipple rings still count as rings, so whenever you monitor someone's health ...

... have them slip over the person's finger(s) as actual rings.

  ... nipplefingers ?!

I wanna go to this hospital, just to see
what the Naughty Nurse is up to.