The Worst Druid

[Look]

Branching off from the "Least Optimizable PC Class" Discussion Here: http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=554.0

It was mostly agreed that Druid is pretty much an all-in-one ready-to-play box of awesome. Full casting, Spontaneous Summoning, Wild Shaping, Two Good Saves (the important saves too), an Animal companion for starting, and class bonuses at nearly every level. The class is pretty hard to mess up...

And that will be the point of this little exercise, fuck up a druid. The objective should be to create the shittiest possible druid, as low tier as it can go. It has to be a true druid build so Druid 1/Commoner 19 is really not acceptable, though templates, races, PrCs and feats that needlessly cripple the class are welcome. Ideally core only monks should laugh in this druids face, and fighters should be a boundless toolbox of options by comparison.

Enjoy!

EDIT FOR BONUS RULES:

-Level 20 (No Massive LA)
-32 Point Buy. All points must be spent.
-Assume that you would not be playing the character and instead handing it off to a tweaky power gamer. Therefore no wishing away your own class features, or assuming that he wears heavy plate.
-The challenge isn't "Can you play a Druid poorly" anyone can do that. The challenge is, "Can you make a druid that is impossible to play well."

[Halinn]

1) You want to not have any spellcasting ability. This means a wisdom of 9 or less.
2) You want to lose the animal companion. An ACF such as the Druidic Avenger (UA) can trade the AC for rage and fast movement
3) With that, you can still be fairly effective in melee. You have to lose wildshape. UA has another solution: trade it for monk AC bonus, monk fast movement, favored enemy and some tracking stuff.

You now have a really fast character, who isn't good at anything. You are not able to wear any armor, and given the already established fact that you dumped wisdom, your monk bonus adds up to very little. You should dump strength as well, to be equally useless in close combat, even if you can rage. Perhaps go gnome? Feel free to fill your feat slots with toughness, and up con to simulate being a tank.

[Cannotthink]

Metal Master 19/Blighter 1

Metal master is an alternate druid out of Dragon Magazine #311 that essentially trades off every druid class feature (except spellcasting) for some damage reduction, bad skill bonuses, major creation 1/day and iron body 1/day. Blighter kills off druid spellcasting.


Alternatively, Druid 20. Give no shits about nature and you lose everything besides that fancy 3/4 BAB and a few armor and weapon proficiencies.

[Maat Mons]

A warforged with the adamantine body feat using the shapeshift druid variant gets pretty close to nothing. 

[Noliar]

Let's start with the UA variants - As a swift hunting forest avenger druid we have managed to lose wild shape, animal companion and armour use. We can run pretty fast though and we're still a full caster.
Now we all know that venerable kobold is the best race and age catergory for a caster but that's a bit feeble early in the game so we'll give him toughness as his level 1 feat. (Why are you screaming dragonwrought and weeping? Dragons aren't very druidy now are they?)
Now after slogging through 19 levels like this our little chap is getting bitter for some reason so lets get him some eeevil magic and cap things off with a level of blighter. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

[Hics]

A warforged with the adamantine body feat using the shapeshift druid variant gets pretty close to nothing. 

you just need to be warforged, base plating interfer w/t druidic metal allergy.

so go for swift hunting forest avenger druid warforged.

or try to be blighter in dak sun. "burn sand, burn". welcome glesseficer -.-"

[Look]

Swift Hunting Forest Avenger Druid 20

Race: Arctic Kobold

Feats: Sacred Vow, Toughness x5, Vow of Poverty, (Bonus: Vow of Nonviolence)

Stats:   -8 Str, -4 Dex, -8 Con, +3 Int, +1 Wis, +3 Cha

Arctic Kobold comes in as a strong choice for de-optimization. With -2 Str, -2 Con, and -2 Wis. Plus the small size counteracts some of the movement speed bonuses he gains from all the Druid ACFs. Making him Venerable makes those values even more decrepit, nailing him with -6 to all physical stats. Alternative class features cost him his ability to Wildshape, cast spontaneous summons, and his animal companion. And assuming he starts with Wis 8 and does not improve it he will remain unable to cast spells.

His feats are mostly crap, Toughness just barely balances out the lost HP from low constitution, Sacred Vow is crap, and Vow of Nonviolence is pointless so long as he cannot cast, and actually penalizes his party mates if they act in a violent manner. Vow of Poverty on the other hand grants significant bonuses and combat advantages. However, it is necessary to prevent him from using items to boost his appallingly low physical stats and getting Wisdom high enough to actually use magic (a level of Blighter would solve this problem, and clash terrifically with his feats!). By more strict interpretations this even prevents him from using UMD to cast, important considering that +3 charisma. Naturally, non of VoP's bonuses are put into Wisdom.

Beyond this he can rage fairly frequently and run at an appreciable speed. His BAB is not THAT bad, his Will save and Fort save are good, and he gets a fair amount of skill points. He might make a good party face...if he hadn't lost Diplomacy as a class skill. Even so, he is totally outshined by a core only Monk in nearly every department.

[JohnnyMayHymn]

True neutral DruidX with riding dog Animal Companion:
Does not have the feats, still spell, silent spell or eschew materials

summons Pazuzu and wishes to be double PaO'd into a stick

Now, you still have your class features and your dog, being the loyal companion that he is, carries you around in his mouth.  The problem is when he tries to bring you to people to fix you they just say "Good boy!" And throw you.

EDIT: dang your wildshape still works, I guess you could start as CN or burn two wishes, then you are not neutral and lose your class features.  But then the dog joke doesnt work unless you use an ACF to trade out wildshape.

[snakeman830]

A warforged with the adamantine body feat using the shapeshift druid variant gets pretty close to nothing. 

you just need to be warforged, base plating interfer w/t druidic metal allergy.

Nope.  Composite Plating doesn't count as wearing any armor.  Only if you take a feat to alter it does it become an issue.

[StreamOfTheSky]

Can some base rules be established so it's not entirely silly?  Like, "32 point buy, and you have to spend it all."  And, "You still have to roleplay AS a druid, no purposely crippling yourself by just wearing metal armor, cutting down rainforests to build cities, or other stupid crap you're blatantly doing just to screw the character out of his class features."  Any character can light themselves on fire and die in the first session if your goal is to just be as worthless as possible without any boundaries...

[SorO_Lost]

Spin off from the worst wizard ever?

Start with 8 con & take Quick, justify the reasoning that you'll gain a new con score while under Wild Shape. Later, you "accidentally" take enough con damage to drop to 1, though Quick you now have exactly 1HP even at level 20.

P.S. Greater Bestow Curse can set any score to 1.

[Bozwevial]

One of the alternate uses for Bestow Curse from the Book of Vile Darkness is to make a character sterile.

You know, just so we're covering all our bases here.

[Halinn]

One of the alternate uses for Bestow Curse from the Book of Vile Darkness is to make a character sterile.

You know, just so we're covering all our bases here.

Perhaps just a simple Vow of Chastity instead?

[Look]

Can some base rules be established so it's not entirely silly?  Like, "32 point buy, and you have to spend it all."  And, "You still have to roleplay AS a druid, no purposely crippling yourself by just wearing metal armor, cutting down rainforests to build cities, or other stupid crap you're blatantly doing just to screw the character out of his class features."  Any character can light themselves on fire and die in the first session if your goal is to just be as worthless as possible without any boundaries...

Good Idea.

Additional rules for bonus difficulty.
-Level 20 (No Massive LA)
-32 Point Buy. All points must be spent.
-Assume that you would not be playing the character and instead handing it off to a tweaky power gamer. Therefore no wishing away your own class features, or assuming that he wears heavy plate.
-The challenge isn't "Can you play a Druid poorly" anyone can do that. The challenge is, "Can you make a druid that is impossible to play well."

[Ithamar]

What level are you aiming for?  Because once Shapechange becomes readily available, the ability to play a bad druid becomes even harder.

[Look]

What level are you aiming for?  Because once Shapechange becomes readily available, the ability to play a bad druid becomes even harder.

I was figuring Level 20. Although I think it is pretty unanimous that the Druid has to lose its ability to cast, otherwise it is pretty much impossible for it to truly suck.

[awaken_D_M_golem]

... Alternatively, Druid 20. Give no shets about nature and you lose everything besides that fancy 3/4 BAB and a few armor and weapon proficiencies.

Basically an Aristocrat down just a notch,
but a few weak gimmicks and lots of feats / class options.

Niice in a bad way ... (good way).

[Noliar]

Can some base rules be established so it's not entirely silly?  Like, "32 point buy, and you have to spend it all."  And, "You still have to roleplay AS a druid, no purposely crippling yourself by just wearing metal armor, cutting down rainforests to build cities, or other stupid crap you're blatantly doing just to screw the character out of his class features."  Any character can light themselves on fire and die in the first session if your goal is to just be as worthless as possible without any boundaries...

Good Idea.

Additional rules for bonus difficulty.
-Level 20 (No Massive LA)
-32 Point Buy. All points must be spent.
-Assume that you would not be playing the character and instead handing it off to a tweaky power gamer. Therefore no wishing away your own class features, or assuming that he wears heavy plate.
-The challenge isn't "Can you play a Druid poorly" anyone can do that. The challenge is, "Can you make a druid that is impossible to play well."

Well, as a power gamer how would you get mileage from the venerable kobold druid (swift hunter+ forest avenger ACFs)19/ blighter 1

Str 7, dex 6, con 1, int 11, wis 11, cha 19+5

heavy armour proficiency, tower shield proficiency, toughness x5

[Maat Mons]

Well, as a power gamer how would you get mileage from the venerable kobold druid (swift hunter+ forest avenger ACFs)19/ blighter 1

Pay for a casting of atonement, regain druid casting, lose blighter class features, buy wis boosting items. 

[Look]

Well, as a power gamer how would you get mileage from the venerable kobold druid (swift hunter+ forest avenger ACFs)19/ blighter 1

Str 7, dex 6, con 1, int 11, wis 11, cha 19+5

heavy armour proficiency, tower shield proficiency, toughness x5

That Wis 11 worries me, with scores like that he can naturally cast spells. Dropping that to 9 will solve that problem neatly. Just in case he can tack on the Mage Slayer Feat for a negative CL.

Now if only there was some way to prevent him from using magic items.