Worst 5 words a DM could say

[nijineko]

Let us play Synnabar!

(those who've played it will get the inherent joke in my deliberate use of less than five words)

[zook1shoe]

3d6, in order, no rerolls.

AAAAHHHH I've actually done that.  We were all goblins.  Much dying was had.

That sounds really fun, actually. Make em choose class before the rolls? :-p

[stanprollyright]

It was actually really fun.  Thankfully we chose classes after rolls, but no casters were allowed.  My only positive ability score was charisma, so I convinced him to let me play a Bard1/MarshalX with no spells.  I had 4 str and 5 con.  We did lots of running away, in true goblin fashion.

[faeryn]

It was actually really fun.  Thankfully we chose classes after rolls, but no casters were allowed.  My only positive ability score was charisma, so I convinced him to let me play a Bard1/MarshalX with no spells.  I had 4 str and 5 con.  We did lots of running away, in true goblin fashion.

Pleasee tell me one of your party members named their goblin Robin, and (even if none of them did name themselves Robin) you proudly sang "Brave brave Sir Robin, He bravely ran away!"

[Fredgerd]

It was actually really fun.  Thankfully we chose classes after rolls, but no casters were allowed.  My only positive ability score was charisma, so I convinced him to let me play a Bard1/MarshalX with no spells.  I had 4 str and 5 con.  We did lots of running away, in true goblin fashion.

Pleasee tell me one of your party members named their goblin Robin, and (even if none of them did name themselves Robin) you proudly sang "Brave brave Sir Robin, He bravely ran away!"

"You're mashed into a pulp"
"Your eyes are gouged out"
"and your elbows are broken"
"You have your kneecaps split"
"and your body burned away."
"Your limbs hacked and mangled."
"and your head's smashed in"
"and your heart's cut out"
"and your liver is removed"
"and your bowels are unplugged"
"and your nostrils get raped"
"and your bottom's burned off"
"and your penis is split"

[zook1shoe]

 

[JohnnyMayHymn]

"Clerics should only be healing."
"Power Attack is too powerful."
"Wizards are like weaker sorcerers."
"All bards just suck, period."

"Roll for nostril circumference... twice."

"everyone, calculate hair growth modifiers"
"everyone, remove one shoe durability"

"guys, I graduated wizard school!"

<screaming>
"YOU NEVER TAKE THE HOOK!"
"ALL ROADS FOLLOW THE PLOT!"
"SIT STILL WHILE I'M NARRATING!"

[Psysama]

"I am so drunk.  Oopsie!"

(click to show/hide)

I was totally smashed drunk and tried to run a campaign, sent the party against a monster they could only hit on a 20.  Not many people returned after that.

[Stratovarius]

"I've got this new book..." (Opens BoEF!  )

[skydragonknight]

"I'm restarting the campaign from 10 years ago. Now here is a book with all the changes to my homebrew over the last 10 years. I hope you memorize it."

[Nanshork]

"I'm restarting the campaign from 10 years ago. Now here is a book with all the changes to my homebrew over the last 10 years. I hope you memorize it."

  

Too many words.   

[Stratovarius]

"I'm restarting the campaign from 10 years ago. Now here is a book with all the changes to my homebrew over the last 10 years. I hope you memorize it."

Haha. Also, not something I'd do. I keep the old versions around for a reason.

[Raineh Daze]

"You left your clothes behind."

[bhu]

"Really?  You're really doing this?"

[Raineh Daze]

Come on, that's the best thing a DM could say. It's a good warning.

[awaken_D_M_golem]

aDMg is joining the game ... 

[bhu]

Come on, that's the best thing a DM could say. It's a good warning.

Yeah but when I use it it's when people say yes and run blindly into their own damnation because they have no clue they're doing something self destructive.

i.e. it's when PC's say things like "There's a five year old in the crowd?  That should be easy pickings, how much xp is she worth?"

[phaedrusxy]

Your codpiece is a mimic.

[Keldar]

*Unfolds Ravenloft DM screen*

[Stratovarius]

Here comes an Erotic Fantasy!