Fun Finds v5.0

[SorO_Lost]

Watch this video, discuss.

[Amechra]

Wrong thread... but that guy's an ass.

Why?

It's similar to the following problem: what is the next number in this sequence? 1, 1, 1.

Give up? Have an answer?

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397. You can define a function that generates any possible number given a sequence of numbers.

[Captnq]

Okay... My player asked me to research some Familiar crap.

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- PLANAR HANDBOOK (3.5)
- SPELL COMPENDIUM (3.5)
Transmutation
Level: Abyss Domain 4, Cleric 2, Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M/DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You smash the soot against your flesh and intone the ancient, dark words. Like the legendary balor, your body bursts into lurid flames.
The flames created by this spell do not harm you or any equipment you carry or wear. Each round, the flames deal 6d6 points of fire damage to any creature grappling you (or any creature you grapple) on your turn.
Arcane Material Component: A pinch of soot.

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- BOOK OF VILE DARKNESS (3.0)
Transmutation [Evil]
Level: Corrupt 2
Components: S, Corrupt
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: Caster
Duration: 1 minute/level
The caster’s tongue lengthens and strengthens, allowing her to make grapple or disarm attacks with a reach of 15 feet. Attempts to grapple or disarm with her tongue do not provoke attacks of opportunity. Otherwise, they are handled normally.
Corruption Cost: 1d6 points of Wisdom damage.
Editor: 3.0 Spell and may be disallowed by your DM.

Okay... So, I have a familiar. I cast Devil's Tongue on myself (and my familiar) Then I use Balor's Nimbus I can cast both of these at 3rd level with a high enough int. So, I grapple with my tongue. If I grapple, I assume my Familar gets an auto grapple as well (That target is immobilized. How can my familiar miss?) So, assuming I hit first, the target will take an average of 21+21 points of fire damage. So unless my target really is impressive, WHOOSH!

Perhaps a possible answer for That Damn Crab, since it includes being grappled, that the crab is want to do.

EDIT: BTW, I just can't stop laughing about a wizard and his toad familar just burning people to ash with their elongated tongues.

[Captnq]

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- SPELL COMPENDIUM (3.5)
Transmutation
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
You drop to your hands and knees a moment before your extremities morph into the limbs of a great black panther.
When you cast this spell, you assume the physical appearance and many of the qualities and abilities of a displacer beast. While under the effect of the spell, your creature type changes to magical beast, and your size changes to Large. You have the space and reach of a displacer beast (15 feet/5 feet [10 feet with tentacles]). You gain two tentacle attacks, which each deal 1d6 points of damage + your Str modifier. You gain the Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution of an average displacer beast (Str 18, Dex 15, Con 16), but you retain your own mental ability scores. Your base land speed becomes 40 feet. You gain darkvision out to 60 feet. You also gain low-light vision. Your class and level, hit points, alignment, base attack bonus, and base saving throw bonuses all remain the same. You lose any spell-like abilities of your own form, and you lose any extraordinary special abilities from your own form. You retain any supernatural abilities of your own form. You keep all extraordinary special attacks derived from class levels (such as a barbarian’s rage or a rogue’s sneak attack), but you lose any from your normal form that are not derived from class levels. You can speak and cast spells while in displacer beast form, but you must physically touch any necessary Material Components. Your natural armor bonus becomes +5, regardless of any natural armor bonus from your normal form. While in displacer beast form, you gain the displacer beast’s displacement and resistance to ranged attacks abilities. Your equipment melds into your new form and becomes nonfunctional.
Material Component: A single claw from a displacer beast.

Okay, I cast this, include my familiar. We both turn into displacer beasts. I immedately dismiss the spell on myself and mount up on my displacer beast familiar and ride into battle. As long as I'm riding him, we are never more then 5 feet apart and no chance the familiar will accidentally get further then five feet from me and lose the spell.

Note, nothing under familiar states that I have to keep the spell up on myself to keep the spell going on my familiar.

[Captnq]

Okay... So, I have a familiar. I cast Devil's Tongue on myself (and my familiar) Then I use Balor's Nimbus I can cast both of these at 3rd level with a high enough int. So, I grapple with my tongue. If I grapple, I assume my Familar gets an auto grapple as well (That target is immobilized. How can my familiar miss?) So, assuming I hit first, the target will take an average of 21+21 points of fire damage. So unless my target really is impressive, WHOOSH!

Perhaps a possible answer for That Damn Crab, since it includes being grappled, that the crab is want to do.

EDIT: BTW, I just can't stop laughing about a wizard and his toad familar just burning people to ash with their elongated tongues.

Huh. I continue my research and something else just jumped out...

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- PLAYER’S HANDBOOK 2 (3.5)
Transmutation
Level: Druid 3, Sorcerer/Wizard 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level
Two black tentacles sprout from your shoulder blades and arch over your shoulders.
The tentacles have 10-foot reach and are animate. Each round as a free action, starting on the turn when you cast the spell, you can direct each tentacle to attack one opponent within reach. The tentacles use your base attack bonus and Strength score, and each deals bludgeoning damage equal to 1d8 points + your Str modifier. The tentacles threaten the area within their reach, and each can make one attack of opportunity per round. The tentacles also grant you a +4 bonus on Climb checks.
Material Component: A piece of octopus, squid, or carrion crawler tentacle.

They are extra attacks. So, technically, they could grapple two different targets from my tongue. So me and my toad familiar could grapple 6 different targets, or 3 targets twice for an average of 21 points of fire damage each time we successfully grapple.

That is just *beep*-ed up right there.

[ksbsnowowl]

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- SPELL COMPENDIUM (3.5)
Transmutation
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
You drop to your hands and knees a moment before your extremities morph into the limbs of a great black panther.
When you cast this spell, you assume the physical appearance and many of the qualities and abilities of a displacer beast. While under the effect of the spell, your creature type changes to magical beast, and your size changes to Large. You have the space and reach of a displacer beast (15 feet/5 feet [10 feet with tentacles]). You gain two tentacle attacks, which each deal 1d6 points of damage + your Str modifier. You gain the Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution of an average displacer beast (Str 18, Dex 15, Con 16), but you retain your own mental ability scores. Your base land speed becomes 40 feet. You gain darkvision out to 60 feet. You also gain low-light vision. Your class and level, hit points, alignment, base attack bonus, and base saving throw bonuses all remain the same. You lose any spell-like abilities of your own form, and you lose any extraordinary special abilities from your own form. You retain any supernatural abilities of your own form. You keep all extraordinary special attacks derived from class levels (such as a barbarian’s rage or a rogue’s sneak attack), but you lose any from your normal form that are not derived from class levels. You can speak and cast spells while in displacer beast form, but you must physically touch any necessary Material Components. Your natural armor bonus becomes +5, regardless of any natural armor bonus from your normal form. While in displacer beast form, you gain the displacer beast’s displacement and resistance to ranged attacks abilities. Your equipment melds into your new form and becomes nonfunctional.
Material Component: A single claw from a displacer beast.

Okay, I cast this, include my familiar. We both turn into displacer beasts. I immedately dismiss the spell on myself and mount up on my displacer beast familiar and ride into battle. As long as I'm riding him, we are never more then 5 feet apart and no chance the familiar will accidentally get further then five feet from me and lose the spell.

Note, nothing under familiar states that I have to keep the spell up on myself to keep the spell going on my familiar.

Note:

Share Spells

At the master’s option, he may have any spell (but not any spell-like ability) he casts on himself also affect his familiar. The familiar must be within 5 feet at the time of casting to receive the benefit.

If the spell or effect has a duration other than instantaneous, it stops affecting the familiar if it moves farther than 5 feet away and will not affect the familiar again even if it returns to the master before the duration expires. Additionally, the master may cast a spell with a target of "You" on his familiar (as a touch range spell) instead of on himself.

A master and his familiar can share spells even if the spells normally do not affect creatures of the familiar’s type (magical beast).

You don't have to worry about your familiar getting further than 5 feet away.  Just cast it directly on him to start with. (This only works assuming you don't also want the benefit of the spell on yourself.)

Also, I don't think you can have it affect both of you and then only dismiss it upon yourself.  It's one spell, if you dismiss it, it ends, period.

[Captnq]

Note:

Share Spells

At the master’s option, he may have any spell (but not any spell-like ability) he casts on himself also affect his familiar. The familiar must be within 5 feet at the time of casting to receive the benefit.

If the spell or effect has a duration other than instantaneous, it stops affecting the familiar if it moves farther than 5 feet away and will not affect the familiar again even if it returns to the master before the duration expires. Additionally, the master may cast a spell with a target of "You" on his familiar (as a touch range spell) instead of on himself.

A master and his familiar can share spells even if the spells normally do not affect creatures of the familiar’s type (magical beast).

You don't have to worry about your familiar getting further than 5 feet away.  Just cast it directly on him to start with. (This only works assuming you don't also want the benefit of the spell on yourself.)

Also, I don't think you can have it affect both of you and then only dismiss it upon yourself.  It's one spell, if you dismiss it, it ends, period.

Been trying to figure that out myself, actually. I wonder if there is something in the FAQ.

Do note, not all personal spells have a target of You, however.

For example, case in point:

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- RACES OF THE DRAGON (3.5)
Evocation [Force]
Level: Sorcerer 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Effect: Evoked tail
Duration: 1 hour/level
A partially translucent, scaled tail uncoils from behind you, as if it had always been there, and slaps at foes that leave themselves open to attack. You evoke a partially translucent, scaled tail that can attack foes that are vulnerable to attacks of opportunity. If your foe takes an action that would provoke an attack of opportunity from you, even if you are not holding a melee weapon that would normally threaten your foe, your evoked dragon's tail attacks the target with a melee touch attack, dealing 2d6 points of damage on a successful hit. You can only strike with a ghostly tail if you have not already taken your allowed number of attacks of opportunity in the round.
Special: A dragon-blooded character, or a character with the dragon type, deals an extra 1 point of damage per level with a ghostly tail (maximum 20 points).

No target You. Then again, who'd want it just on the familiar? Someone runs past you, they provoke an AoO from you and your familiar. Sweet.

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- SPELL COMPENDIUM (3.5)
Transmutation [Earth]
Level: Druid 3, Sorcerer/Wizard 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: One pebble/3 levels
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: None
With your best giant’s shout you rattle some pebbles in your closed hand, completing the spell that will allow them to become boulders.
You infuse a handful of stone pebbles with powerful transmutation magic. For the duration of the spell, you can hurl one pebble as an attack action that provokes attacks of opportunity. The instant the pebble leaves contact with your hand, its size and the force of your throw increase dramatically, as the pebble transforms into a boulder. The boulder has a range increment of 120 feet, and you must succeed on a ranged attack to strike a target with the boulder. If you hit the target, the boulder deals 2d6 points of bludgeoning damage + your Str modifier. You gain an insight bonus equal to your caster level on attack rolls and damage rolls (maximum +10) with these boulders. If you drop a pebble or give it to another creature, the pebbles’ magic dissipates harmlessly.
Material Component: The pebbles to be transmuted.

Range: Personal, Target: Pebble? I don't get this one. But there ya go! So my familiar can hold and drop pebbles that suddenly WOOSH off to smack someone? Cool. As a swift action? Cooler.

BTW, do you think the wizard and the familiar get their own set of pebbles, or do they have to share the same pebbles?

[SorO_Lost]

Wrong thread... but that guy's an ass.

It might be, depending if the discussion really takes off or not.

"I can't see a thing on the surface of Venus. Why not? Because it's covered with a dense layer of clouds. Well, what are clouds made of? Water, of course. Therefore, Venus must have an awful lot of water on it. Therefore, the surface must be wet. Well, if the surface is wet, it's probably a swamp. If there's a swamp, there's ferns. If there's ferns, maybe there's even dinosaurs."

This is D&D on the Forums in a gist.

Think of all the stupid fallacies we're seen through the years. Genesis let's you have infinite time planes, Kobolds are True Dragons, Practiced Spellcaster lets you enter PrCs by the 2nd level, Artificer is more powerful than a Wizard, Monks are useless and weaker than NPC Warriors, Spellcasting is an Extraordinary Ability, even the more recent GitP claims you can stack Metapower Feats, etc. are all thoughts put forth by someone who didn't understand what they were reading. Each one has easily found and obtained rules proving how incorrect they are, and every single one of them was debunked by me.

Why was it my voice leading those arguments? Most of you are probably thinking "you have a pretty fucking big mouth" but that's not at all what I'm asking. Why didn't you read the books? Why did we have to wait months for me to quash Genesis by finally reading the DMG or Kobolds by finally reading an unindex'ed section in the Draconomicon or for some stupid GitP trick to get posted here before someone reminded you the PHB says Feat's don't stack?

That little video explains it. Watch it, make the same mistakes, commit the even greater error of thinking that you came up with the answer sooner means you're more intelligent than the people he spoke with. Then sit the hell down and listen to him explain how real ideas undergo real testing and how you're precondition to look for yeses. Which in our forum history, you can see clear indications of. And maybe, just maybe, next time you see some shiny trick you may ask your self if it really works and test against it rather than agreeing those clouds on Venus are covering up dinosaurs simply because it sounds plausible.

And that's my fun find. A little bit of education to make you a better poster and to help you understand D&D just that much more.

[Amechra]

Which is not what this thread is about; please, start a new thread if you want a discussion.

Don't derail this thread. Please.

[Nanshork]

Which is not what this thread is about; please, start a new thread if you want a discussion.

Don't derail this thread. Please.

I'm going to second this.

[PixelHead777]

Which is not what this thread is about; please, start a new thread if you want a discussion.

Don't derail this thread. Please.

I'm going to second this.

They made an emoticon just for this purpose we might as well use it.

[zook1shoe]

Related to the Apocalypse from the Sky ask a question...

can an Incantatrix's cooperative spell her own Apocalypse with Twin Spell and/or Repeat Spell?

the thing that so throwing me off is the standard action readied to enhance.

could you do it with Celerity (obviously immunity to daze is needed)?

[SorO_Lost]

Cooperative Spell requires you and another Spellcaster to cast simultaneously. A Repeated Spell is recast, but recast by you and not someone else.

That being said, I see where you're going with it and it's certainly reasonable to ask your DM.

[zook1shoe]

i only saw 'willing allied spellcaster', not 'another'.... 'adjacent' though means not you...

unless you're a splitting creature (Protean Scourge, etc.), then you can use it on your adjacent willing allied spellcaster self

[Captnq]

Okay. I got it worked out.

I take the dragon familiar feat.
I get a wyrmling familiar.
I get a dracolich brew and a dracolich phylactery (52K). I turn my wyrmling familiar into a dracolich.
He dies. He comes back. I enslave a 21st level sorcerer, wizard, or cleric with craft wondrous item.
I polymorph the dracolich familiar into a living creature. I use the psionic power fusion to merge the 21t level sorcerer with the dracolich.

The fused sorcerer/dracolich crafts 8 soul gems at 120,000 gp and 4,800 xp each.

RESULT: 1 Demilich familiar
TOTAL WBL COST: 1,972,000 gp
Ultimate Familiar Bragging Rights: Priceless.

[zook1shoe]

Strict RAW it doesn't work.... The Draconomicon Dracolich isn't a Lich, it's its own template, thus not able to become a Demilich.

[phaedrusxy]

Strict RAW it doesn't work.... The Draconomicon Dracolich isn't a Lich, it's its own template, thus not able to become a Demilich.

Even just having a dracolich familiar is pretty awesome.  (I don't think it would actually stay your familiar after the transformation, though...)

[zook1shoe]

Hell yeah it'd be cool

you could do it w ubermount cheese

[awaken_D_M_golem]

Is there any Fluff or Crunch that defines a _Draco-Lich as being more "Lich" than Draco-something ?

wiki has this: The dracolich was detailed in Dragon #344 (June 2006), in the "Ecology of the Dracolich".
I've no access.

[SorO_Lost]

Hide Life (Tome and Blood: A Guidebook to Wizards and Sorcerers)
Necromancy
Level: Sorcerer 9, Wizard 9,
Components: V, S, M, XP,
Casting Time: 1 day
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instantaneous (see text)
You isolate your life force in one single part of the body-typically the little finger on the left hand. You can then remove this part and store it in some safe place. Once the spell takes effect, you can no longer be killed by ordinary means: If damage or a spell effect would normally render you disabled, dying, or dead, you ignore the usual effects. Instead, you are staggered (only able to take partial actions).

While this spell is in effect, if you would otherwise be disabled or dying, you do not lose hit points for taking actions or having a negative hit point total. Healing does not automatically return you to 0 hit points but simply adjusts your current total upward.
If you would otherwise be dead, you cannot benefit from healing and simply fall down dead if the spell is ended.

If the hidden body part is ever destroyed, the spell is broken and your life force returns to your body if you would not otherwise be dead.

Material Component: A small sickle made of the purest silver, which you use to detach the body part to be stored.
XP Cost: 5,000 XP.

Ok, so you burn a 9th level Spell and 5,000XP one day and chop off your little finger, then for the rest of your unnatural life you're Staggered.

A couple days later you're hit with Finger of Death. It's ok, you can tank it.
Then an ubercharger Monk hits your face, repeatedly, for five million damage. It's ok, you can tank it.
Then the Warblade uses Time Stands Still and proceed to roll six Natural 20s in a row with his Vorpal Sword. It's ok, you can tank it.
They give up and run away, a couple days later a Mindflayer grapples and rips your brain out. It's ok, you can tank it.
A Wizard hears about your immorality, he shows up and sees your negative HP total and uses Power Word Kill. It's ok, you can tank it.
Then he casts Imprisonment, well you're screwed but you get the idea.

Anything that would outright kill you is ignored, including HP damage. Also, drowning your self is not a healing effect, you know in case you want to keep from going to far into the negatives. This also means you can have a Constitution Score of 0 which is pretty frackin hilarious. It also has the side effect of irrevocably winning against thousands of mundane builds for you. I'm sorry, did McFighter know how to kill me in 29 different ways by using his thumb? Sorry, I can't lose unless you use Flesh to Stone kthx.

...Which if you are turned to Stone and you're still immune to things that would kill you. Does that mean you are now an unbreakable statue? *ponders*