Things that make you LoL (Part 3)

[bhu]

http://cheezburger.com/8381640960

[dman11235]

Weird names that actually exist: Natalie Butts, Gay Nation.  Those are both real, first/last name pairings.

[Kuroimaken]

Do you guys have Onetwothree Smith Four?

[brujon]

http://i.imgur.com/JnF4p0p.png

Not Safe For Work way of killing the BBEG...

Oh 4chan, you.

[Amechra]

I'm reminded of the time our party sent a Lich into therapy.

The spoiler is NSFW, by the way.

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It was a pretty heavily houseruled 1e game - actually, it was my first campaign ever. I was playing a Narvein (one of my DM's setting races - think horned fire people who treat water like acid.) Wizard who "specialized" in Fire and Transmutation.

Now, because my friend (the DM) decided that all the limiting factors on 1e Wizards (casting time, material components, prepared spells, and the rolls to learn new spells) were "silly", I was wrecking everything, mostly because I was pretty clever with how I used my magical might.

Until we get to this Lich; I forget what his exact role in the setting was, but I think he was just a pretty powerful spellcaster of some description.

It was supposed to be a big epic fight, ya know? The Lich gets the drop on us, and encases me in a huge block of unmelting ice (so everyone else could have a chance to get some hits in). He then formed a telekinetic link with the party so he could taunt us.

At one point, he directed a taunt towards me.

"In response, I visualize the phrase 'tentacle god sex.'"

The DM just looks at me, gives a little laugh, and said something along the lines of "Wow. The Lich takes 3 sanity damage."

I did it again (It was something else equally squicky). The Lich takes 2 more sanity damage. And a crack appears in my icy prison.

Then the rest of the party chips in; you know how long it takes to break through a Lich's 100 Sanity?

Half an hour.

Half an hour of describing my character's memories of hijinx at Wizard College, some hentai that one of the other players had seen, and general other squickiness.

Half an hour of the Lich becoming increasingly twitchy, until he just teleported out, splintering the pillar of ice I was trapped in.

Later that campaign in the final battle, the Lich shows up again. He apparently had went through therapy since we'd last seen him... but still was jumpy when we faced him again.


That was the same campaign where I uplifted an entire race of chickens, where we funded a hospital (after hospitalizing a couple thousand people, because our DM had no sense of scale), and where a battle against the Dark Spirit of Illusions (or some-such) almost resulted in a TPK before it actually started.

I learned a lot about how not to DM from that campaign...

[wotmaniac]

http://i.imgur.com/JnF4p0p.png

Not Safe For Work way of killing the BBEG...

Oh 4chan, you.

looks like someone stumbled upon the Assplomancer.

[Kethrian]

[Amechra]

Soro's signature made me think of this:

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Chastity is sometimes defined as "keeping sex sacred"; don't screw people before you get married, and don't do the sex outside the marriage.

Oh, you and your spouse want to fuck like rabbits? Go ahead and do it! God totally approves 100%.

There's a reason Catholics historically have large families.

(Side note: My mother was one of six, and her mother was one of eight; I am one of 17 grandchildren. I went to a family reunion for my maternal grandmother's side of the family and there were more than 100 people there.)

So yeah, to tell the terrible joke: Catholics do it with God's approval.

 

[bhu]

For the umpteenth time my mother has stroked the cats fur the wrong way, an act he obviously finds distasteful.   And for the umpteenth time when she asked "Does kitty wub mommies" he has has lifted his leg and broken wind.

omg she is piiiiiiissed...

[phaedrusxy]

For the umpteenth time my mother has stroked the cats fur the wrong way, an act he obviously finds distasteful.   And for the umpteenth time when she asked "Does kitty wub mommies" he has has lifted his leg and broken wind.

omg she is piiiiiiissed...

[oslecamo]

[FireInTheSky]

[Kethrian]

D&D memes

[bhu]

D&D memes

Minotaur Bard is awesome!

[Baad Speeler]

 

[bhu]

http://cheezburger.com/67059969

[dman11235]

SO my mom got mad at my dad tonight, because he opened up his christmas stocking present thing today.  So she wrote a note that read "way to go scrooge "  My dad's response: "Huh?  I bought this..."

So tomorrow or the next day we're going to get a second speaker.  They both bought the same thing.  Exactly.  Same MODEL as well.  The only difference is where they bought them.

[oslecamo]

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[SolEiji]

http://www.theverge.com/2014/12/18/7418687/instagram-makes-teens-and-celebrities-angry-by-removing-spam   

[Jackinthegreen]

12 days of D&D

Given the holidays and all.