Kuro's Improbable Tales

[Kuroimaken]

The more I hear, the more I'm convinced that you are some kind of superhuman. How is your reaction towards green meteorites?

Never ran into one.

Notice the way he said that people. HE never ran into one. As opposed to the rest of us mortals, meteors don't run into him, he runs into them.

And lets face it Kuroi, you just didn't notice it when you did because the meteor imploded too quickly. Most likely due to your field of awesomeness.

    Man, I didn't even notice that joke could be made until you pointed it out! This is one of the reasons I love this thread.

[Kuroimaken]

And in case anyone is serious about discussing a religion I make up, I kinda made a topic on it here.

[Kuroimaken]

Here's another one. Apparently I've become anathema to bad music. See, there is this one "singer" I absolutely hate. Dude basically takes obscure dance hits from weird corners of the world, redubs them, and calls them his, plus he promotes some of the worst crap in the Brazillian music industry, ever. I told my coworkers my opinion of him, and they of course now love to tease me about it. All in good fun, really, but sometimes it gets a little annoying. So they brought one of his CDs to work today and put it on. I just look at them, pull one of my headphones down (I use music to drown out the sounds of the office, which is a bit loud) and I point out, "You realize I can cancel out the noise from that, right?" to which one of them replies, "Oh yeah, but you're still going to hear the buzz in the background, and it's sure to annoy you."

"Oh, if there's any justice in the world, that CD will simply self-destruct."

So I go back to work.

And eventually we hear a loud screeching noise from the stereo. It turns out the CD pretty much exploded inside the device. We have no fucking clue how that happened, but from the way it was steaming, the CD itself overheated. I tested the stereo later with one of my CDs, and it worked fine.

[brujon]

Here's another one. Apparently I've become anathema to bad music. See, there is this one "singer" I absolutely hate. Dude basically takes obscure dance hits from weird corners of the world, redubs them, and calls them his, plus he promotes some of the worst crap in the Brazillian music industry, ever. I told my coworkers my opinion of him, and they of course now love to tease me about it. All in good fun, really, but sometimes it gets a little annoying. So they brought one of his CDs to work today and put it on. I just look at them, pull one of my headphones down (I use music to drown out the sounds of the office, which is a bit loud) and I point out, "You realize I can cancel out the noise from that, right?" to which one of them replies, "Oh yeah, but you're still going to hear the buzz in the background, and it's sure to annoy you."

"Oh, if there's any justice in the world, that CD will simply self-destruct."

So I go back to work.

And eventually we hear a loud screeching noise from the stereo. It turns out the CD pretty much exploded inside the device. We have no fucking clue how that happened, but from the way it was steaming, the CD itself overheated. I tested the stereo later with one of my CDs, and it worked fine.

So... You fucking hate Latino too? ;P Fellow Brazilian here o/

[Kuroimaken]

Here's another one. Apparently I've become anathema to bad music. See, there is this one "singer" I absolutely hate. Dude basically takes obscure dance hits from weird corners of the world, redubs them, and calls them his, plus he promotes some of the worst crap in the Brazillian music industry, ever. I told my coworkers my opinion of him, and they of course now love to tease me about it. All in good fun, really, but sometimes it gets a little annoying. So they brought one of his CDs to work today and put it on. I just look at them, pull one of my headphones down (I use music to drown out the sounds of the office, which is a bit loud) and I point out, "You realize I can cancel out the noise from that, right?" to which one of them replies, "Oh yeah, but you're still going to hear the buzz in the background, and it's sure to annoy you."

"Oh, if there's any justice in the world, that CD will simply self-destruct."

So I go back to work.

And eventually we hear a loud screeching noise from the stereo. It turns out the CD pretty much exploded inside the device. We have no fucking clue how that happened, but from the way it was steaming, the CD itself overheated. I tested the stereo later with one of my CDs, and it worked fine.

So... You fucking hate Latino too? ;P Fellow Brazilian here o/

I knew I'd find another one if I looked long enough! So's Risada. 

And hell yes I do. I figure anyone with a bare minimum of musical culture does.

[brujon]

What city you're from? Speaking from Brasilia here.

[Kuroimaken]

What city you're from? Speaking from Brasilia here.

Porto Alegre. Risada is from... Salvador, I think, but my memory probably fails me.

[Risada]

What city you're from? Speaking from Brasilia here.

Porto Alegre. Risada is from... Salvador, I think, but my memory probably fails me.

Actually, São Paulo 

[Kuroimaken]

What city you're from? Speaking from Brasilia here.

Porto Alegre. Risada is from... Salvador, I think, but my memory probably fails me.

Actually, São Paulo 

I could've sworn otherwise! Good thing I didn't. See, told ya my memory was faulty. I must've mixed you up with Draken, from the Giantitp forums. (Then again, I think he lives in Manaus instead. Stupid big country mixing up my sense of direction...)

[Kuroimaken]

Something minor today, compared to, y'know, palm striking cars.

So I'm walking up to work, and we have this little space between the building and the fence proper that's kinda like a mini-garden with wooden logs people can sit down on. Lots of employees come there to relax in between shifts, and they usually gather there and talk at length during lunch break. I'm approaching a group of coworkers to greet them, and one of them, a smoker, is telling a story in a very enthusiastic fashion with lit cigarette in hand. As I approach, she suddenly approaches what appears to be the climax in the story, when her cigarette slips out between her fingers and flies in my direction.

Towards my right eye.

Good old reflexes catch up. I weave my head to the side while my hand catches the flying butt right in the palm, and puts it out. Between the adrenaline rush and the suddenness of my own reaction, there is no pain.

I'd gotten a cigarette burn before. Once, I had a very heated discussion with a smoker, took the lit cigarette and put it out in my upper palm so the attention would be on my words instead of a cancerstick. It hurt, it burned for days, and my skin eventually healed.

When I open up my hand, I see the butt is well and truly squashed. I brush the ash aside to inspect what I figure is a burn wound right in the middle of my palm, which I don't feel yet but probably will in a few.

Nothing. Not even a black spot. Hell, not even a BROWN spot.

My coworkers rush to see if I'm okay, and to dismiss their concerns, I tell them the cinder must have caught in an empty space when I clenched my hand. My colleague profusely apologizes, but I tell her not to worry about it.

[brujon]

Glad i stopped smoking... Cigarrette burns really *do* hurt a lot.

[ariasderros]

Kuroimaken.

Level 30+ Badass (upgraded Saito class variant)
Divine Rank 1+ (Unknown)
Str: 50+; Dex 50+; Con 50+; Int 20+; Wis 30+; Cha 50+
SA: Technopathy; Beastial Roar
SQ: Resistance 10+ Fire, Cold, Sonic, Electric, Acid; Productive Sleeper; Regeneration 1/60 (as Ring of Regeneration); Zombie Immunity; Soft Strength (ability to stop heavy thing w/o harming anything)
Salient Divine Abilities: Supreme Initiative
Feats: All Luck Feats; All Unarmed Attack Feats

So... couldn't solo Shar, but much much more than any of us.

[Kuroimaken]

Kuroimaken.

Level 30+ Badass (upgraded Saito class variant)
Divine Rank 1+ (Unknown)
Str: 50+; Dex 50+; Con 50+; Int 20+; Wis 30+; Cha 50+
SA: Technopathy; Beastial Roar
SQ: Resistance 10+ Fire, Cold, Sonic, Electric, Acid; Productive Sleeper; Regeneration 1/60 (as Ring of Regeneration); Zombie Immunity; Soft Strength (ability to stop heavy thing w/o harming anything)
Salient Divine Abilities: Supreme Initiative
Feats: All Luck Feats; All Unarmed Attack Feats

So... couldn't solo Shar, but much much more than any of us.

Funny, a lot of people would say my Int and Wis scores on those should be switched or something. 

I wonder what my portfolio is. 

[ariasderros]

I assigned the int based on the whole "even hawkings would only be a 22" argument and the wis based on your devotion to observing philosophy (and even making your own).

[Monotremeancer]

I wonder what my portfolio is. 

Vigilantism, Badassery, Improbability
Among others

[Kuroimaken]

I assigned the int based on the whole "even hawkings would only be a 22" argument and the wis based on your devotion to observing philosophy (and even making your own).

Well, I suppose those are good arguments.

I think the other scores may be a little too high, though. I definitely don't see my charisma at 50, and I certainly don't perform superhuman feats on a regular basis. Most of what has happened to me can be explained by inordinate amounts of luck and adrenaline rushes.

EDIT: Still, I take those as big compliments. Particularly charisma. 

[ariasderros]

I won't argue that Str and Con may be too high, and Supreme Initiative would take care of most of the reason for the Dex I gave.
Since, as you say it is mostly luck, there may be a large amount of this just from your re-rolls (and maybe you also have Luck domain and Third Times the Charm)

But I think the Cha is spot on. Remember, Cha is based on sheer force of personality.
You used your Technomancy SA on the guy with the laptop, but you just used a Bluff check followed by a Cha check on the woman. You used the feint maneuver on the emo kid with a knife (Cha-based). Your Bestial Roar SA is Cha-Based. You start talking to people, and they offer to make you into a religion (you didn't even Diplomance, just strait reaction to your Cha).

Nope, you definitely have a Cha mod of AT LEAST 20, so a score of 50 OR MORE.

Edit: Also, your hands may also have their own Cha scores, but we still haven't heard a story that required you to talk out of your dominant hand yet.

[Kuroimaken]

I won't argue that Str and Con may be too high, and Supreme Initiative would take care of most of the reason for the Dex I gave.
Since, as you say it is mostly luck, there may be a large amount of this just from your re-rolls (and maybe you also have Luck domain and Third Times the Charm)

But I think the Cha is spot on. Remember, Cha is based on sheer force of personality.
You used your Technomancy SA on the guy with the laptop, but you just used a Bluff check followed by a Cha check on the woman. You used the feint maneuver on the emo kid with a knife (Cha-based). Your Bestial Roar SA is Cha-Based. You start talking to people, and they offer to make you into a religion (you didn't even Diplomance, just strait reaction to your Cha).

Nope, you definitely have a Cha mod of AT LEAST 20, so a score of 50 OR MORE.

Edit: Also, your hands may also have their own Cha scores, but we still haven't heard a story that required you to talk out of your dominant hand yet.

 

Man, I can't argue with that. I suppose the internet helps, but you make some good points. Still flattered.

I might need a little clarification on the hands comment though. It's not like they can actually talk.

EDIT: Note to self: learn ventriloquism.

[ariasderros]

Edit: Also, your hands may also have their own Cha scores, but we still haven't heard a story that required you to talk out of your dominant hand yet.

Man, I can't argue with that. I suppose the internet helps, but you make some good points. Still flattered.

I might need a little clarification on the hands comment though. It's not like they can actually talk.

EDIT: Note to self: learn ventriloquism.

I was being punny about your third story in the first post. "Now get your ass out of here before I decide to talk outta my dominant hand."

[Kuroimaken]

Edit: Also, your hands may also have their own Cha scores, but we still haven't heard a story that required you to talk out of your dominant hand yet.

Man, I can't argue with that. I suppose the internet helps, but you make some good points. Still flattered.

I might need a little clarification on the hands comment though. It's not like they can actually talk.

EDIT: Note to self: learn ventriloquism.

I was being punny about your third story in the first post. "Now get your ass out of here before I decide to talk outta my dominant hand."

Oh. Can't believe I missed that one. 

I wonder what my alignment is.